Black Days
by glittergoddess13
Summary: 5 months before pilot. When Dean gets hurt by something after John, it sets all the wheels in motion for Season 1. The truth of why John left & other Winchester secrets. HurtDean! Bro argument! Angst! Bobby & John's last fight! LimpDean! Bobby Secret
1. Misunderstandings

**_Author's Note: Why did John leave Dean? Why did it take 4 years for Dean to reach out to Sam? (I know the pilot said two, but if Sam had an interview for grad school it has to be four, so I am going with that) Why did John fight with Bobby, which ended with Bobby threatening John? Why did John not run to Dean's side in the Faith episode? Why was it too risky for the boys to be with John on the hunt for the YED? Want answers? They will be told here, along with more surprising secrets along the way._**

**Black Days**

"Damn it, Sam. Drop it. Okay!" Dean barked at his brother.

"No…No way, Dean. This has got to be the stupidest stunt you ever pulled."

"I SAID LEAVE IT"

"And I said NO!"

"You know, I have about had it with you avoiding…"

"It my life Sam… MINE!"

"It's your death."

"Just leave it alone…Dammit Sammy…I"

"You what!? Come on. I thought we were in this together. Don't shut me out. I got this lead and it could save you." Taking a folder paper from his pocket, Sam waived the possibility like a dangling carrot.

"No.. Give that to me Sam. Now."

"NO."

Dean grabbed at Sam's arm, which held another farfetched scheme of Sam's to break the deal. The advantage of his brother being taller kept the item just out of reach. Still that did not stop Dean from attempting to wrestle his brother down. He twisted on Sam's shoulder to pull Sam down unharmed, but his brother counteracted and grasped the pulled muscle in Dean's shoulder. The eldest Winchester winced.

"STOP It. You know you are in no shape to fight me on this. That injury still has you not up to par. "

"Nice Sam. Really nice. This is my choice. Mine."

"You are a selfish bastard, you know that."

"We'll this selfish bastard is going to kick your ass into next week." Dean fumed in frustration and lunged towards his brother, knocking over a stack of books.

Two stubborn Winchesters were about to exchange words and blows, when the ruckus caused an intervention. "WHOA!!!!!" Interceding between the boys, Bobby pushed back Dean's charge. "What the hell is wrong with the two of you? I don't know who pissed in your cornflakes, but I will whip the both of you. Back off! Now!"

Nostrils flared. All three men were alert and razor-backed with tension.

"Nevermind, Bobby." Dean grunted.

"Hell No, son! "

Sam stared down at Dean, frustration boiling. "Yeah, Bobby. Just a misunderstanding."

"Do I look stupid…? You boys were noisier than a mule in a tin barn."

"Sam just thinks he can decide what best for me!"

"Oh.. yeah.. Dean… pardon me for wanting to help. I see your point, but I still think you're full of crap."

Dean's foot stomped forward.

He found Bobby doing the same. "Boy, don't try my patience. You are going to cool off. What the hell is wrong with you?! You're goin' up fool's hill on the slippery side."

"I don't even know what that means!"

"It means you are acting like a jackass, Dean." A hint of smugness tainted Sam's words. "When are you going to let me help…"

"How about never? Is never good for you?"

"Nice Dean!"

"Dean, your brother is trying to help you."

"He doesn't care, Bobby. He just wants to disagree and fight with everything. Pushing everyone away."

"Okay, how about this..uh…Bite me! Sam is a freaking travel agent for guilt trips."

"You boys are about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat's ass right now. I never thought anyone could hold a candle to the foolish bullshit your father pulled, but you boys are damn close."

"Don't… Shut up about my Dad….And if this is something you can't deal with then….We'll I can fix that for ya!" Fuming and looking hurt, Dean stared at both men before he turned and walked out Bobby's door.

"DEAN!"

"Sam, let him go."

"He's just…just."

"You need to cut his some slack."

"What! Bobby… I.."

"He's got a lot on his mind. "

"Dean doesn't even care how I feel about this."

"Are you kidding! That boy cares.. Always has. Why do you think he kept watch over you after you left?"

"He told me Dad and he use to swing by."

"Huh!" A deep chuckle escaped Bobby. "You really have no idea why Dean came back for you."

"Because Dad was missing and he..."

"Part of it. Shit, you are freakin' clueless and about as stubborn and dense as John. Maybe some buckshot in your behinds would keep you both occupied.

"We'll Dad probably deserved it."

"Yeah, he did. The way he left that boy. It wasn't right."

"You fought over Dean?"

"Yeah…"

"Bobby?"

"And you.


	2. Crank Yanker

-x-x-x-xx-x-xx-xx-

"It was the last time I saw John or Dean, before you boys showed up for help with Meg. That was one hell of a job. Damn near lost Dean on that one."

"Dean…he…Bobby, what happened!? Why didn't Dad call me? Why didn't…?

"We did call you Sam. You were just too pigheaded to listen. "

"If my brother was in trouble, I would have come… I would have…"

"Would you? Sam, be honest, you were pretty pissed off at the time. All Dean wanted was to be near you and John. The whole damn thing turned up tearing up what little the kid had left. Luckily, he doesn't give up easily."

"Dad left Dean while he was dying… That son of …"

"Hey! Just close your yap and I'll tell ya."

"It had to be about 3 months before Dean came knockin' on your door. John had swung by my place for help with a multiple haunting in Sacramento. I had hitched a ride, so I was pretty much at the whim of Dean or John in getting back. Your Daddy, Dean, and me just finished the job without too much trouble, so we stopped in a local bar. John had picked up another job, but he wanted to check up on you first."

-**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-xx-x-xx-x-xx-**

**_July 2005- Sacramento, California_**

**_Seated at the farthest corner of the Boar's Head Bar, Bobby, John, and Dean threw back another round of beer. The well worn table, littered by the numerous rounds, shook as Dean grabbed the last bottle out of the bucket._**

**_"I tell __ya__, Bobby, that thing went up in flames about as fast as Dad's cooking."_**

**_"Watch it kiddo. It could be worse."_**

**_"Yeah, he could cook two nights in a row." Bobby roared._**

**_The three shared a chuckle at John's expense. "Well, I got a message from Jacob, if you two can control yourselves, about a job near Mount Hood in Oregon. This woman is having a haunting problem. Figured you and Bobby could take care of that while I swing around to check on Sam."_**

**_"Uh…sure, Dad."_**

**_"What don't you just talk to that boy, John?"_**

**_"That'd be none of your business, Bobby!"_**

**_"We'll don't that just fry your tater. I'm just saying, as a family, you would have certain advantages."_**

**_"I'd say that is not your concern either."_**

**_"Hey...__uhmm__… about that job."__ Dean tried to derail the argument._**

**_"Plus, Dean and I got it all covered. I don't need a quitter at my side. __Can't trust them in battle.__Right Dean!"_**

**_"Dad…uh…We don't need Sam. You and I can pretty much take on anything." Dean's self assurance shined until he spouted, "We don't need a tagalong." He seemed to be telling himself to believe it._**

**_"See. Dean is okay with just the two of us."_**

**_"About that job….uh… Dad…where are we going? _**

**_"You take off with Bobby and check out this gal's story. I'm going to swing by Stanford."_**

**_"Dad?"_**

**_"Maybe Dean would like to check on Sam, too."_**

**_"Why? Dean knows his place. You both could have that thing taken care of while I am in route."_**

**_"__It's__ okay, Bobby. I don't need to go. Just a pit stop anyway…You okay with me covering your ass in a haunting."_**

**_"Two heads are better than one - even if one is a __knothead__You sure about not visiting Sam?"_**

**_"Hell yeah.__ I'll settle up the tab and meet you outside." The cocky Dean swaggered to pay the tab._**

**_-x-x-xx-x-x-xx-_**

**_Dean shuffled his way to the pay phone booth outside of the bar. Pushing the door, he shoved himself in and leaned as far as he could into the small enclosure, leaving the air from the outside to sneak through the open door. He dialed a number from memory without any hesitation as if the number was engraved in him. _**

**_"Hello?"_**

**_When a feminine voice answered, he slammed the phone down without reluctance. Dialing again, he waited again for an answer. _**

**_"Hello." _**

**_A female replied for the second time. He hung up again. Determined to dial a third time, he waited for a third answer. _**

**_This time a manly voice answered: the voice of Sam Winchester. "Listen you __perv__! I can hear you breathing. If you don't stop calling my girlfriend, I'm going to find you and kick your ass."_**

**_Dean didn't speak, satisfied to only listen to Sam yelling. He held the phone a few inches from his ear, still able to hear his little brother steaming with anger. "I'm serious. If you don't stop it, I will hunt you down." A click disconnected Sam from him too quickly for Dean's taste. His eyes tried not to water up as he hung the receiver back on the pay phone. _**

**_"Don't want to see your brother, huh!"_**

**_He started and turned to find Bobby behind him in the open door. 'Bobby__, I__…I How long…"_**

**_"Long enough to see you dialing like a mad man and to hear Sam screaming from the other end."_**

**_"I…I just….I…"_**

**_You miss him."_**

**_"Yeah."__ His voice cracked a bit. "God, you can't tell Dad. I __gotta__ keep him going. It kills him that Sam's not with us. I got__.."_**

**_"__You might as well argue with a fence post, then to tell your Daddy anything. If I had a nickel for every time his mouth overloaded his butt, I would be rich as Hugh Hefner. But, maybe you should call Sam sometime and talk to him."_**

**_"I tried for a while, but Sam was so angry. He and Dad just…I don't even know…. And when I called, Sam just yelled as much as Dad. I just need to hear his voice sometimes. Just to know….he's…" Dean started to slip more emotion into his words._**

**_"__It's__ okay, Kiddo. Your brother and Dad are just too pigheaded to admit they both are the same-dam stubborn jackasses. So how long did it take you to hatch a brilliant plan to crank call him?"_**

**_"It just __sorta__ just happened. I called one day and he answered. I kept thinking of what to say, you know. And he said hello a few times and I just listened as he hung up. This way I know he is okay, even if he is pissed off."_**

**-x-xx-xx-xx-x-xx-x-x**

"Wait…those calls were Dean."

"Yeah.Seems he called ya a bunch."

"We had cranks calls at least a few times a week for years. All that time, I thought some frat guys were harassing Jess."

"Well, even Sam Winchester can be wrong."

"He's never told me. Now, I wish…"

"Wish in one hand and shit in the other… See which one fills up first. Wishing does nothing now. Just be thankful he kept trying."

"I am, Bobby."

"Tell him that."

"If he speaks to me sometime soon."

"Uh… he'll cool down. Just too much stress and time on the road lately. Anyway, John took off to spy on you and Dean and I took off to Mount Hood. Things were going okay until we arrived at house just outside of the mountains. You brother and I were about to get our tails handed to us by a she demon.


	3. Scottish Whiskey

---x-x-xx-xx-xx-x-xx-x

"A demon?"

"Sure as the rooster crows in the morning, but Dean and I didn't know she was possessed just yet. Dean had been especially quiet and disinterested in getting to the mountains. I think he was hoping John would catch up with us with first hand news about you."

-x-x-x-x-x-xx-xx-

The Impala's sluggish pace could have easily been mistaken for standing still as Dean pulled into the deserted driveway of rustic cabin just outside of Mount Hood.

"We're you dragging your feet to get here!? I haven't seen you drive that slow since the hooter girls had a fundraising carwash in Albuquerque. Course you drove past that place 16 times- REALLY SLOW." Bobby tilted his head and gave Dean an amused look.

"OH..yeah… Good times."

Noticing his cheer up attempt had failed miserable, Bobby tried the direct approach. "I still think we should have just followed John to Stanford."

"Bobby…..please…"

"Well, John will be here soon with the delayed scenic tour we just took. He can't be more than an hour or so behind us. You do know the whole point was for us to get the leg work started so we wouldn't be here forever."

"YEAH…yeah.." Dean pretended not get the meaning behind Bobby's words. Instead he got out of the car to make his way to the cabin, eventually.

The Rustic cabin sat in the bottom and was one of the most accessible cabins on the dirt road, which suited Dean perfectly. He wasn't about to drive the Impala over rough mountain terrain. This was far enough and the one access road to this was rough enough. Anymore and Dean would not have allowed his baby to be on it. He leaned down and flecked a bit of dirt from the hood.

"Dean.. In all my born days, if you want to make love to your car, I'll be inside." Taking pride in that car was one of Dean's past times, but today he was delaying this hunt. In fact he was procrastinating in just about every way possible.

"I was just checking!"

"Sure… Don't make me light a fire under your ass. Come on."

Both hunters sauntered up the graveled makeshift drive until their footsteps echoed on the hollowness of the raised wooden planks that surrounded the cabin's porch. Taking the lead, Bobby knocked, not wanting to rely on the unusually unfocused Dean to take charge at the moment. He pretended not to notice the way the young hunter looked longingly at the access road in hopeful expectation.

"Yes?" A timid voice shook behind the door. Neither man could get a good view of who they were intended to help.

"We're here to help you. We were told you had a problem that required certain skills."

A delicate hand grasped around the wooden door as the portal swung a smidge open. "John Winchester?"

"No, I'm his son, Dean. This is a friend, Bobby."

Grateful that Dean was still in the hunt, Bobby smiled at the lady. "We can help you. Just let us get a crack at the thing hauntin' you."

She cracked the door more and her crystal blue eyes could be seen in the light that bounced in from the outside. Obvious fear reflected in the azure pools. "I'm Jamie…uh…come in. I just hope you believe me."

"Sweetie, there ain't much these old eyes haven't seen in my lifetime." The delicate woman eyed the eldest hunter with trepidation like he was an invader.

"That's Bobby's way of saying we believe you."

Accepting Dean's answer, she let the two hunters follow her small frame through the cabin door.

-x-xx-x-xx-xx-x-xx-x-

The newly formed triangle of hunters and victim, took seats at card table in the center of the cabin.

The young girl was beautiful by any standards. Her hair had been piled to the top of her hair with oriental style sticks, but somehow the messy style made her look softer and more feminine. It was apparent she took pride in her appearance and even in these difficult circumstances made an effort to look inviting. It could best be described as a hint of vanity still clung to her even though her frame appeared rattled.

"Jamie, it's okay to be scared. Just tell Dean and me what happened."

"Oookkkay. This cabin has been in my family for years. It was fine until.." She paused and took a deep breath, appearing incapable of forming the words aloud.

"Go on. This crap don't scare us off none too easily."

"And you asked my Dad for help, so it must mean you believe in what you saw."

"There was this thing…I swear it was a man…he was standing over my bed. It..he…shows up every night. I hoped your Dad could…shit I could use a drink! Can I offer you …" She didn't wait for an answer, but jolted from the table to retrieve a bottle of whiskey. She carefully balanced three empty tumblers with the bottle under her arm. Dean stood to help her, afraid her shaken state would end in a mess of glass shards, but she had already wobbled the glasses down. "I find whiskey help calms my nerves. I know it is stupid to think this helps…"

-x-xx-xx-x

"Now, I could kick my own ass for not noticin' it, but when she plopped those glasses down on the table, her hands weren't shaking. I was so caught up worrying about Dean being distracted, I let my own self get snookered."

"That's fairly hard to believe. You pegged me when Meg…. "

"I learned a thing or two. I don't fall for a con twice. Plus, that demon in you even walked differently- You are less self assuming than that demon bitch that crawled up in ya. Sometimes, they have a tell if you take time to notice. Some are harder than others. Yours was easier."

"Dean couldn't tell it wasn't me at first."

"You being bloody was his first concern. "

"And he was worried I had gone dark side on him."

"That didn't help."

"Dean picked this one out, but it was too late."

-x-x-x-xx-x-x-xx-xx

Jamie poured a straight shot of whiskey in Dean's glass and then shifted easily to Bobby's cup and her own. "There. Maybe I can get this out before I freak myself out again. Is it this hard for you?"

"Sometimes."

"I bet you have seen things that would send me over the end. Drink up. I can't offer you much in way a reward, but this whiskey is to die for."

The aroma of the single malt was woody and grassy, just as Dean liked his whiskey. "This smells high end. You know your whiskeys."

"Teaninich from Scotland. I had it imported."

"Teaninich… I've only had that a few times. Dad loves this stuff, but we don't get this pricey stuff often. Not in the budget for a non paying hunting gigs. Dad will be pissed he didn't come along with us."

"Where is John? I was told he was the best!"

"You got that right sweetheart…There is nothing my Dad can't hunt or kill."

"Sounds like he is very determined. But go ahead and enjoy. You can brag to him later."

"Not to dispense with the pleasantries, but you want to tell us what in the Sam hell is goin' on here and why you were so frantic to see us. Whiskey is whiskey. I don't care where it's from." Bobby threw the glass back and was ready to gulp the whole shot.

Suddenly, Dean slammed the glass out of Bobby's hand. "BOBBY DON'T".

"Oh…Smart boy!" The tone of the timid woman's voice became full bodied and strong. Before Bobby or Dean could react, she had sent Bobby sailing across the room into the door with a single motion of her arm. Her other arm smacked into Dean's face, toppling him over. "You aren't playing fair, Dean. Daddy Winchester was supposed to come, not you chuckleheads. But, we can do it the harder way." Pulling an object from her pocket, she plunged it harshly into Dean's upper thigh.

"Son of a bitch!"

"Ahh…not very nice..What would mommy think!?" She slammed Dean's head against the floor sending him to darkness.

Bobby had already pounced as agile as a seasoned hunter could, but Jamie had taken control over the situation. Her hand brandish Dean's weapon and she placed the cold steel against the fallen hero's forehead. "AHH…ahh…I wouldn't do that if I were you. Otherwise, Dean will get that pretty face all messy."

Halting his sprint, Bobby glared at the she demon still holding the barrel of a gun to his friend's temple. His eyes darted to other the item in her left hand. "What did you do to him you demonic shebitch!?"


	4. Cheshire

-x-x-xx-xx-xx-xx-xx-xx-x

"Holy Crap..What did she do to Dean! How the hell did you get out of there!?"

"You Winchester are impatient to get to the end of things."

"Sorry… it's just. Why was she so concerned that Dad didn't come? And what did she do to Dean!?"

"I thought I was telling this hunt. And standing there and not helping that kid was pure torture to me. If I knew the pain that boy was about to experience…"

-x-x-xx-xx-x-x

"What did you inject him with!"

"Just a little something special. Back off and maybe I will let you live to see the fun that is in store for Dean."

Bobby stood defiantly over her crouched form, looking for any moment of weakness to take advantage of. He knew he had more power standing over a regular human, but a demon possessed one had ten times that strength. Add a gun to Dean's head and that was a combination Bobby didn't want to risk. His eyes traced her movements of her hands. The pupils darted back and forth between the objects in her bands…the gun and a syringe.

"I SAID BACK OFF or I ventilate in the next five seconds…five… four… three."

Not taking in changes, Bobby stepped back. "What did you DO! If that boy.."

The woman slithered up and met his eyes as if she was inspecting a whining interloper, one deserving of death or at least a good bitch slap. "Threats- meaningless, but it does make for a better victory when the would- be-do-gooder overestimates his importance. When he is about to be gutted."

"Well, if you've decided the ending then your grandstandin' is a pile of manure."

"hmmp… "She walked a few steps away from Dean and cocked her head knowingly at the elder hunter. "I just need a little bait. John was supposed to come and help me, but I got the B team instead. But I have no need to chitchat with you, so why don't you take the pent-up rage and worry about the pain that is coming to your friend." She moved away, almost jovial at her warning, taking seat at the bar and still aiming the gun in their direction.

If the demon wanted to shoot him, then he would rather die helping Dean. A bullet hole in his back was just as likely to kill him as one she let off as he was standing still. Bobby risked it. He moved faster than normal, not out of fear but concern. He fell to his knees and scooped up Dean in his arms. "Dean, can you hear me. Wake up, now, don't you give up on me."

"Pathetic!" the demon shrilled.

Dean's head wobbled and flopped onto Bobby's shoulder. The shallow pants of suffering and a shallow sweat and shuddering showed the signs of Dean becoming sick.

Feeling another shutter against him, Bobby's concern grew "Kid, can you hear me?" He gently shook Dean to entice him to awaken. Encouraged by Dean's fluttering eyes, he prompt him again, hoping whatever damage the demon had inflicted was not match for the Winchester determination.

"Ummm."

"Dean? You okay?"

A pair of sparkling eyes focused hard to mix the two images of Bobby into one. Slowly the blur became fine-tuned enough. "I'm fine, I'm…."

"So sweet… now, we wait for Daddy and we all can get what we want."

"You have no idea what I want to do to you!" Dean grunted out despite his wheezing. Bobby tried to ease him up, but his friend's energy seemed to be a distant memory.

"Ahhh… so nice. How kind. You want me."

"Why kill them with kindness when you can use a Ax!" Dean screeched at her as he tried to push himself up under his own power. Bobby urged and guided him to a half stance. "I am harder to kill then you think."

"Oh, you will die, but not before you scream and cry out in pain and misery. "

Dean wobbled, finding his partner holding him upright. Annoyed he was already feeling a growing pain in his gut and already feeling helpless, he lashed out. "I don't need your help!" Pushing the assistance away, he took a step to stare at their demon captor.

"Hmmph!" She baited Dean's challenge with her own cockiness.

Whether Dean accepted his help or not, Bobby could tell things were a lot worse that Dean was letting on. "Save your breath. She want to meet your Daddy, she is out of her gourd. All we have to do it sit and wait for him."

Dean's expression softened to an apologetic look, showing he understood Bobby's intention. He allowed Bobby to pull a chair out for him and covertly sat him down. Bobby's hand upon Dean's back helped keep him steady. Once Dean has been settled, Bobby grabbed a seat and stared at the shakes of Dean's body. "You cold?"

"A little….I…"

The demon possessed girl laughed. "This is going to be so tasty"

Bobby ignored her and took off his jacket vest, wrapping it about Dean's shoulders. He half expected to find that Dean was ice cold, but the skin was feverish and clammy. The boy looked up at him in appreciation and a charismatic deviousness. The sparkled flashed only long enough for Bobby to know Dean was up to something. He wrapped the jacket further around the boy's shoulder and finally noticed the active cell phone in Dean's hand.

-x-x-x-x

"He warned Dad."

"Yep. Your brother is sneakier than a Cheshire cat. He played the demon's overconfidence by conning her. Gave John just enough information to know we were in trouble. His gambit was a good one." Bobby got up from his seat and retrieved two more beers.

"Thanks for taking care of him." Sam looked out distracted and pensive.

"Sam?"

"I guess my family should tell you that more often." Sighing, he felt a bit sheepish.

"Hmm…yeah… but you boys are part of my family, so I guess I am stuck with the lot of you." Passing the beer to the calmer Sam, Bobby smiled. "Taking care of you seems to be a bad habit. "

"Tell me about it!" Sam chuckled.

Responding with a hearty laugh, Bobby shook his head. "This time, I was hopin' he would save our bacon… We'll your dad had other problems. When he got that call, he tore ass to get to us and found a surprise waitin' for him. Dean and I had no idea we were blockaded by a pack of demons."


	5. Midnight Blue

-x-x-x-x-x-xx-x-xx-x-x

"When he arrived to the access road, he found a barrier of cars and demon possessed people waitin' for him. But, John handled it in his usual tactful way."

"Gentle as a bulldozer?"

"Funny you should say that! Mind you John told me this part, so I can't tell you if it's not a bit…."

"Exaggerated?"

"Yeah." Bobby laughed.

-x-x-xx-xx-x-xx-

All of his teeth aligned in a perfect Clint Eastwood grit, hearing his son wheezing had set him to freaking. Hearing the gloating of some woman saying Dean was going to die, had set him to seething and worrying. He spared no tire rubber getting across the miles of slippery wet road. The rain poured down over the sleek midnight blue finish of his 4x4, but he wasn't going to let the deluge stop him from his goal. His eyes struggled to see further than two feet past the hood, but the weather denied John that luxury. He squinted searching for the access road, hoping to get to his son and friend faster.

Coming upon the place the main road veered into two branches, he grew excited until John discovered he wasn't alone. Two cars had pulled diagonal on either side of the access road in wait for him. The grill of his truck drew closer, as if it was daring the lesser vehicles to make a move. John grimaced and halted to a stop long enough and close enough to see the black swirling in their demonic possessed eyes. If he rolled down his window, he could have touched the demon spawn, which were keeping him at bay. Touching wasn't what he had in mind. He was more inclined to throttle every hellborn thing he could find. Slamming into reverse, John backed away at full speed on the main road. The unhallowed villains scrambled attempting to enter the two cars and make chase.

Fifty feet away from the obstacle, John stopped and smirked. Giving the demons no time for pursuit, blindly, he gunned his truck into action. His foot pressed the gas pedal all the way to the floor board, letting the engine feed itself to a high speed. The blue finish of his truck blurred in the wet air, barreling in a twisted metal vengeance. The crack of thunder paled in comparison to the striking power of John's vehicle.

The silver grill parted the awaiting cars, screeching and bending upon itself. Sparks showered over and singed the perfect midnight blue finish as metal struck metal. Still it did not stop, but smushed the cars like insignificant bugs under a shoe. Growling, the truck left no opponent in its wake. "Take that you bastards."

-x-x-xx-xx-xxx

Bobby drew in closer to the half slumped over Dean, who had started to shake more over the past hour. "Dean, just rest your head on the table."

"I'm okay." The words shook loose from shivering lips. He glanced at the older man fondly, but his face was already twisting in pain.

"Please…" the sardonic tone of their captor.

"Lady, you are really starting to torque me off." Bobby scooted his chair out from the table, ready to rip out the demon with his bare hands if necessary.

A hand grabbed weakly at his arm. "Bobby….." A pair of pleading eyes in pain tried to ask Bobby for temperance. 'I can't fight….."

Bobby understood. Dean was in no shape to fight, increasingly becoming sicker and sicker. "Don't worry; I'm saving her for John. He doesn't take to kindly to demons who mess with his family." His drew his chair closer to the shivering boy.

"Oh… I am so scared. I had hoped to use my special treat on John to get what we wanted, but I am counting on his need to protect his weak son. So Deanny here gets to have all the fun in his place. I figured a son of John Winchester…would be… let's just say I am underwhelmed by the lack of fight."

"We'll you caught us on a bad day. Don't let it go to your demonic head."

"Bobby…" Dean's hand contracted in pain upon the hunter's arm.

"Dean??" Bobby let the young man hand dig hard at his upper arm. "What is it? Tell me where…."

"Hmmm…..What's the matter Dean-o…does it already hurt!? Hmmmm. Do you like suffering in your Daddy's place?"

"Go to hell…" The obviously sick Winchester grunted. "My dad is going to.."

"Shut up…. When John gets here, the grown-ups will talk and then, once I get what I want, I'll let him watch his boy die before I slit his throat and rip his heart out through his chest.

"You sulphuric she beast, you…." Bobby gritted. The hand on his arm shook violently. A pallid face pleaded for the building pain to end. Dean had been holding it all in check, but now it was too much to hold back. Seeing pain in the boy he cared for as his own was more than enough temptation to go off without waiting, but Dean needed him. Once he was safe, Bobby wasn't sure what he would do to her.

"Dean, you rest now….Go on. You've done all you can for the moment. Let John and I handle the rest." Bobby got the feeling Dean was going to end up passing out soon, judging from the boy's breathing. He knew the pain was far worse than the façade Dean was portraying. "Go on."

Dean looked up again and his brow lowered in pain as his spine bent forward. The sharp agony sent a hiss to his lips. After a few moments, he twitched again, feeling the ice cold fingers of pain in his spine and gut. "Bobby……." He panted. "I can't………………I feel sick…I…" He folded his arm, slumped forward on them, and contorted his face to hold back the agony he was feeling.

"Shh...Rest...it's all going to be okay." He watched as Dean's eyes slipped to a close and his breathing fell into an uneasy rhythm. The pale freckled face eased a bit, and as Dean's mouth parted, soft pants escaped, filling the small space between worried sounds. Bobby patted the sleeping man's head in comfort. "Rest a bit."

Bobby's words were short lived as Dean's body lurched and fell from his chair to the floor in spasms of pain. Again, the hunter leaped to his feet and cradled Dean. "Easy. Breathe through it."

Dean's body twitched as pain emanated deep within him, his body betraying him with shards of misery. His lips down turned and shook as he panted; trying to keep himself from feeling the sharp twists within him. Features collapsed into tighter versions, not allowing anything but an expression of agony to display on his face. He shook in Bobby's arm, slumping further back into Bobby's chest. His breath coming out in gasps, his head lolled to the side and rested against Bobby's shoulder.

"Easy, kid. I know…it hurts…" That was all Bobby had a chance to get out before a familiar roar of an engine screamed from outside of the cabin. He pulled Dean tight to him, tucking him in a protective grasp as he rolled with him towards the safety of the wall.

Jamie had no time to react to the new sound as an already bent truck reaped further vengeance upon the cabin's structure. The grinding of blue steel and the meeting of wood thundered a sonic boom. Wood flew apart as the powerful metal beast broke through as if it was hungry for battle. The splintered timbers rained down and cracked the windshield as John eye's scope into his prey. The truck groaned and threatened to stop, but not before John had slammed through the entire cabin, and pinned the demon possessed bitch upon his grill.

-x-x-xx-xx-xx-xx-xx-x-x-xx


	6. Pain and Comfort

"We'll Dad was always one to settle things in such subtle ways." Sam smiled in sarcasm.

"Totaled that truck…like it was an empty beer can."

"At least it got you both out of there and got Dean some help."

"Not quite…Piss of some demons and sometimes you get a whole pack to deal with."

-x-xx-xx-xx-xx-x-xx-

The demon possessed woman hissed in pain and spewed in a venomous tone. "John……" Her body collapsed upon the truck hood as the damage to the host caused the demon to falter. Trying to free herself, she arched to use her demon enforced strength to wiggle free.

Swinging out of his demolished truck, John stared squarely long enough to appear smug. "Sorry, sweetheart. We aren't staying long enough to play your games. You want me, you better be ready to get what you ask for."

"The one…..uh…. you're looking for, John… the one that killed Mary…… It is coming for you." The demon hissed out.

John's eyes twitched in an anger flare. "And if you hurt my boy, I'll make sure every last one of you burns in hell for eternity." John smiled, opening his journal to exorcisms.

"You do this and Dean dies…. You give us what we want and I will…..help him…."

"Not today. Demons lie too much. I can take care of my son."

Not today…huh…I warn you…when your son's insides turn inside out….you will regret this choice." That was the final demonic spewing John received. Before he could attempt the exorcism, the black smoke cloud poured from the girl, swirling away in before John could send it back to hell. The dying woman screamed in pain and collapsed on the hood.

John dove to her side. "I'm sorry."

"You're already….too late… dying already…..uhhh….." She grabbed John's arm. "ir…….uhh….john…..Iruk…..and….ji" The broken body ceased its movement and thumped over onto the hood as John jolted from the sound.

Turning away from the now empty shell, he pushed out a breath, trying to keep his head clear so he could search for his son. He didn't have to look far, spotting Bobby cradling the fallen Dean against the far left wall. He hurdled over the wreckage like a long distant runner, only skidding to a stop at Dean's side.

Bobby looked up at John, as the boy shuttered in his arms. "She gave him something. He's been fighting hard, but…he..."

Dean's rocked himself in Bobby's arm, trying to lull his own body to comfort with little success. A murmur of a groan patterned in between hisses and gasps of pain.

John swallowed hard before he spoke in a calm fashion. "Dean, we have to go...can you move." His hand guided his son to look at him and he held his head in place by supporting the young man's cheek. "We have to go. I rammed through a demon blockage and I don't imagine they took too kindly to it." John paused as if waiting for some response. "Hey, you're supposed to get a kick out of that." He shifted tactics, allowing his voice to return to a military cadence. "DEAN, we are moving, Now, ready."

John's voice snapped in Dean's ears. He willed his body to obey his father and his head nodded in a slight jiggle, responding he was ready to follow. As he leaned forward, his tired, pained frame fell limply on John's shoulder.

A shock of air sounded from John, surprised to see his son in this state. His hand clasped the back of his son's neck just where the short hairs began. His eyes showed gentleness. "Dean…I got..." He felt his son jerk in his arm as a spasm of pain shot from deep within… "Easy… just…easy…"

John locked his arm around Dean and shifted his son over his shoulder, arching the legs on one side and the upper body on the other. Dean's screaming abdomen rested against his father's broad shoulders and back. John grunted, using his knees to upright himself under the burden of his son. Like a solider carrying a fallen hero away from carnage, John sought safety for his son as he had countless friends on the battlefield. "Let's go Bobby, those demons won't be far behind and Dean needs us to protect him. We need a safe place to hold up until we can fight our way out."

Bobby nodded and fell into place at John's side. He only stopped a moment to pat the fevered brow of Dean. "Don't worry kiddo." He nodded again and took the lead to shield the Winchesters from attack.

"Thanks, Bobby."

"You got it."

"Ready, kid…just hang on." John transversed the debris carefully, trying to keep Dean as comfortable as he could.

--x-x-xx-xx-xx-xx

"John was right. Those demons were right on our heels. As much as your brother loves his car, it sucked gettin' over some mountain terrain."

"Better not tell him that. He gets feisty if you insult his girl."

"We'll it got us to an abandoned, and somewhat condemned, cabin. Wish we could have driven it up the mountain road and out the other side, but that car wasn't going over that terrain… and I'm sure they had a trap for us there too. So, the first defensible place we found, we took it. Once we had Dean settled inside, we had just enough time to salt the door, windows, and a few cracks before we had demons surrounding us."

"Just waiting to get in."

"John and I managed to contact Caleb and Pastor Jim to get reinforcements, but they were several days out. All we had to do was hold 'em off and wait 'em out."

"But, Dean...he couldn't wait."

"He was the problem…and we weren't sure how long he could hold out."

-x-xx-xx-xx-xxx-xx-x-x

John stared out of rain streaked windows as a conglomeration of demon spawn took up wait outside of the makeshift strong hold. Bobby stood guard at an adjacent window, weighing options in his own head. Both men would have preferred to go out blazing, but Dean was in no shape to fight.

"I'm sorry, John. I should have seen this."

"Yeah..You should have."

-x-x-xx-xx-

"He said that to you!?"

"He was hurtin'…..and scared."

"Dad! Scared and hurting… that doesn't seem like Dad."

"Are you kiddin'. John was afraid for you boys all the time. He kept you in the dark cause he didn't want to put you in danger. Thing was you were in danger whether John accepted it or not."

"He messed up a lot..."

"Sam…"

"But…I did too. We never got to say goodbye and I wish I knew him better now."

"John knew you loved him… don't doubt that Sam. As much as he did Dean….John had a problem…telling you both that…." Bobby cleared his throat before he began to speak. "Now, on a good day I would have handed your Daddy his kiester, but he wasn't angry with me and wasn't mouthin' off without reason."

-x-x-x-xx-xx-x

"John… I." Bobby stammered, allowing John to get out the frustrations. John's misplaced venom soon vanished as a more urgent concern took over.

"DAD!!!!!!!!!! Dad…" Dean yelled, trying to stand from the bed and pummeling to the floor. His body betrayed him again. His abs tensed in agony as the nerves of his body lighted on fire. "Dad, we have to go…we have…"

John wasted no time in reaching his son, pulling the boy to a crouch to assess him. "Easy."

"The demons...they…"

The anxious tone in his son's voice was worrisome. It was not like Dean to panic. The sound of fear and urgency in his son's tone was overwhelming, but keeping Dean calm was more important at the moment. "Shhh….we got it covered. You need to rest for me. We will need you to be in top form when we hand those things their asses for a trophy."

Dean lurched forward and drew his knees to his chest. Folding his arm across his bent knees, he rested his forehead against them. He took several deep shaky breaths as his entire body trembled from the sensation of pain and sickness within him.

John kneeled beside his son, raising his hand to the back of his Dean's neck to maneuver his son to rest upon his shoulder. The sounds of Dean rattle-like breathing echoed in John's ear. "Okay…just relax." Spasms of pain stabbed in his son's body, causing the boy to shudder and twitch against him. Suddenly, Dean's throat gurgled and sounds of strangling stopped his breathing cold.

John pulled him back from his resting spot. "DEAN?" He was startled to see the face of his alarmed, panicked son. Suddenly Dean shot forward as series of dry heaves began. Dean's dulled eyes begged for relief. Rolling his son on his arm until his son faced the floor and holding his son's head up and in place, he guided Dean to the nearby trash can.

Soon the heaves turned to retches, then the contents of Dean's stomach voided. The dry heaves began to choke his body. After several minutes of tasking vomiting, Dean grunted and breathed harshly from the effort.

"You're okay….You finished?" A head nodded against his cradling arm. He hadn't notice Bobby joining them until the man was taking away the can from Dean's view. "You're doing good… Come on." He gently shifted his arm, to roll him face forward against his forearm.

Dean had drifted into fever and sweats. For the moment, he wasn't even aware of most of his surroundings. The nerve endings felt as if his muscles were contracted by a frigid ice sensation. He let out a painful sigh, trying to ease the burden. His spine rolled in chills and locked in torment, leaving his body slumping downwards before John wrapped his arm around him.

John pulled Dean's waist and lifted his eldest to a comfortable position, as least as much comfort he could provide him. He nestled his son like a newborn babe in his arms. A hand reached out and ran through Dean's short, now soft hair. Looking at his son sent mist to his eyes. "Shh…it's okay, you're okay…" John whispered in a soft tone matching his gentle touch on his son's abused body. "You're alright….rest now……..you're okay…" John continued his soothing as his boy suffered in his arms.

Bobby returned and knelt beside them. John responded to his presence with a worried stare. Bobby spoke calmly, "That's better isn't it, kid…." His hand planted on the middle of Dean's back and rubbed gently. "John and I are going to get you some help soon… think you can…just…just take it easy."

"Yeah, he's a fighter… my boy….he's just going to rest now….Right kiddo …shhh…"

Dean looked tiredly at his father and nodded slowly. "I'm sorry… I screwed up. It's my fault…" Dean's eyes welled with tears and streamed down his freckled pale cheeks. "I'm sorry….." A distressed crackle stopped his voice. His body trembled harder and his muscles locked again, unable to move against the pain. He managed to whisper "Sorry" again as his body thudded inside John's arms. A tear rolled down Dean's cheek. The unending, indescribable pain in his heart and body sending tears to flow.

John wiped away the tears as more involuntary fell from the torture his son was experiencing. "Shh…it's not your fault. This was a trap for me. I should have seen it….you have nothing……… please…..….just" John tightened his grip and pulled Dean closer when he felt his son's trembling increase. Dean leaned with his back half against John and half against Bobby's hand. Bobby kneaded Dean's spine to straighten and relax the muscles. It was obvious after a few more jerking spasms; Dean had little if any strength left in his body. John ran his hand through Dean's messy spiked hair.

"It's okay now… you rest." John struggled to keep his tone gentle, but tears formed as he could only witness the pain on Dean's forlorn and struggling face.

"John's right…you can rest…you're safe." Bobby sensed that John was barely keeping his emotions in check. He was finding it difficult enough to do it himself. Still he didn't leave the Winchesters alone, hoping his presence would comfort them both.

The gentle tones and stroking of the men surrounding him with comfort and protection lulled the pain for a moment. Dean's watery eyes blinked rapidly as his body demanded sleep. Slowly, his lids faltered to a close, despite the lines of anguish etched upon his features. The labored breathing seemed to clam enough to allow sleep to take him, basking in the safety of those that cradled him. A final tear rolled long after his awareness had faded.

John and Bobby sat holding and supporting Dean for several minutes in silence. When it was apparent that the young man had finally succumbed to sleep and the latest episode was over, Bobby spoke first. "You okay John?"

"Yeah….I..."

"John? You don't have to bullshit me."

"Bobby, we have got to get past those demons. He ain't going to be able to wait for the cavalry."

"Caleb and Jim will get here. You need to fight as hard as your boy is. You got him?"

"Yeah…I got him….but…he… he is in such pain…and…..and I can't help him here…..whatever they did to him…..he….he…."

Bobby released his hand from Dean's back once he knew John had a firm hold on his son. "You did the best thing for him. He knows you are here and we aren't going to give up on him. John, all that boy ever wants is for you to love him…."

"He knows that I do."

"Does he? John….uh….your boys, they need you to be weak sometimes. It's okay to let them know you aren't a super solider."

"This is killing me… I can't even give him comfort."

"Yes, we did. We gave him something to hold on to. He knows we aren't givin' in, so neither is he. You better get your own head in the same place as his."

Bobby checked Dean's vital, allowing John to just hold onto his son. The eldest son's heart raced. Bobby couldn't hind the grimace oh his face.

"What Bobby?"

"His heart rate is too fast. Mostly likely the pain…"

"Let's get him back to bed and get him comfortable."

Bobby nodded and helped John easy the pained boy from the floor and transfer him to a bed abandoned along with this cabin. It wasn't the Ritz, but it was all the amenities that could be found. Dean's body stirred for a moment and John nestled him into the foam of the mattress and eased his head to a pillow. His son shivered, even though the fever spiked higher. John wrapped Dean in his and Bobby's jackets before pulling the sole blanket around him.

"I'll see if I can get a fire started in the fireplace. Help keep him warm..."

"Thanks." John said, but didn't look away from his sleeping son. John bent down and stroked Dean's forehead. "That's it, kiddo. You rest for me." Leaning forward John bent down and placed a kiss on Dean's forehead. "I'll fix this, I swear." Finally he glanced at his friend. "Bobby, I have to help him…. That demon before she died…she said the demon wanted something from me and she would help Dean….if they want me for Dean… I…."

"John… that would kill Dean. It would shatter all that boy has."


	7. I hate Camping

"Dad was going to give up?"

"Seems to be a habit. Sam, I'm sorry…when your Daddy asked for that stuff to summon the demon….when Dean was in bad shape, I never figured he was gonna cut a deal….and I should have. He would give anything for you boys and………..twice now I missed the signs that your brother and Daddy were…"

"Do you think anyone could have stopped their stubborn asses… Bobby, it's not your fault."

"Still, come hell or high water, that lug head out there is going to be okay. You got my word on that."

"I'll save him, even if he doesn't like it."

"We'll, you ain't alone kid."

"I'll drink to that. I wish I could have seen Dad being tender. It's hard to believe. I never saw that side of him much."

"What! That your Daddy was human. When you Momma died, it got hard. Loosing someone like that can turn make you want to turn off any emotion you have. And you wanted answers that no one could give back then. You and John are both stubborn and unyielding. "

"I think Dean took after Dad more than I did."

"Nope. You! Where did you think those brains of yours come from…that unyielding stubborn streak. Sure, Dean got his fighting skills from his father and his loyalty, but his capacity to compromise came from your Momma."

"Bobby, how could you know that? Dad and you met years after that. You never met our Mother."

"Came right out of your Daddy's mouth"

-x-xx-xx-xx-x

"John, don't be foolish."

John stared out the front window again at their captors, watching the shadows move in the cover of night. He glanced back at his son, who had fallen asleep fifteen minutes ago. He peered only long enough, before he returned his focus to the demons at the gate. Occasionally, one would step in front of the window light long enough for him to see.

Bobby continued his reasoning to the quiet John. "Besides that demon is long gone. And they lie! You know that."

"Did you see how much he is suffering!" Finally getting a rise, John left his perch and stood toe to toe, face to face with his friend.

"Did you see him whine about it! For God's sake, John, have as much courage as your son."

John grabbed Bobby's collar. "Don't you dare say that! I'm doing this for my son."

"No, you're a selfish son of a bitch."

John grabbed Bobby's collar and shoved him against the far wall nearest Dean's bed. "You hit me if you want, but you know you are just pissed at yourself. "

John let his hands fall and he tapped Bobby gentle…"I'm sorry… I'm..."

"Dad." The shaken, bedridden form yelled out in pain. His son was shivering violently, clutching the sole blanket in contracted pain. He pulled at the blanket, hoping to warm his body, only to find the effort a fruitless endeavor. "Dad."

Abandoning the argument, John rushed to his son's side. "Dean.." His voice was a soft hushing whisper, lulling his son. "I'm here." John shifted his body next to his son's quaking torso. "Son, give me your hands… let's get you warm now." John pulled the locked frozen hands under the blankets. He pushed his forearm under his son's head and pulled him close.

"Dad….it's so cold."

"I know. These mountains get cold quickly at night." Dean's fever raged; even though, he felt cold grip his body. "Dean, come on you need to stay asleep for more than a few minutes. You need to sleep this stuff off."

"Dad….where…where's Sammy?...where…"

"He's at Stanford, Dean."

"No…he went out into the woods… remember."

"Shh… he's okay…just relax okay… I got my boys safe and sound..okay?"

"Sam…." Dean's slurred and cracked as his mind tried to comprehend his surroundings. The glassy green of his eyes tried desperately to focus on his father's face. "Dad…where…where…are we." A violent shudder sent the blanket to fall and pool on Dean's chest. He tried desperately to pull it up to him, but his limbs flopped uncoordinated.

"I got it…just relax." John tucked the blanket tightly around the delirious, shaking Dean.

"Where…where..." Bobby cracked a rocker with his work boots and threw the pieces into the fire. Dean startled and spun his head around in panic. "Where…where."

"Shhh…Bobby is just getting a fire started…calm down.. We're in a cabin... remember?"

Returning from stoking the fire with new fuel, Bobby hunkered down to Dean's level. "Sorry, didn't mean to alarm ya. Just having a good camp out…. you remember now."

"Yeah… demons…they…"

"It's all under control…just rest for me some more." John carefully lay down next to his son with his head resting against the pillow. Pulling Dean against his chest, he looked down at Beryl eyes encased by dancing freckles. "Hmmm…you know those freckles came from your Momma. Boy….she hated them too." Dean half listened, not really comprehending most of the words, but he quieted, feeling safe. "You feeling better?...warmer?...how you ever put up with me and Sam…you had to get her patience…always found…."

"Dad, where are we?" Dean rolled his head in delirium fever.

"Shh… a cabin in the mountains…it's bedtime."

Dean laughed, half lost in memory. "You remember when I beg you to take us camping..."

"Yeah, it rained all week and it was so cold. You and Sam begged me to take you back to the hotel just as quick…I got angry and Sam ran off….."

"…Sammy…..he….got in that hornet nest and he cried so hard. He didn't want me to tell you he cried….we….we…that was the first thing I ever let Sammy torch…almost caught the woods on fire..." Dean breathed heavily in between his flashes of memory. "I hated that trip…we…we…" Dean drifted into another bank of painful convulsions.

"Easy, easy…just ride the pain…hold on…hold…on.."

Bobby winched as the boy's body shot up and shook. "Damn it…just.."

Dean cried out in guttural sobs of pain as his abdomen felt like it was being ripped from his frame. His spine twisted like he was a contortionist. Grabbing unknowingly in the air, he found his father grasping his clenching fingers.

John steadied him, listening as Dean's sobs and moans burned out and holding tightly as his son's energy became spent and his body became limp. John rolled Dean's face closer and brought his son's arm back under the blanket. He looked down at his sons face and the mere eyes slits of green that begged for the end of pain. "Shh…that one's over…Sorry, kiddo. I know it hurts."

Dean blinked his eyes a few times before nodding his head slowly. "Dad?... Sammy's out there…we have to find him."

"That trips over, Dean. You found him remember. I was mad and Sam got scared and…" A crackle of emotion broke from John's lips. "…and..you fixed it…just like always…"

Bobby stared up at the two figures. John was distance as if was lost in a dream.

"You went after him…I was going to skin you both, but by the time I tracked you…."

"John…"

"He brought him home, Bobby…. He just always could talk to Sam…just like Mary… Dean is so much like her…got her heart…always trying to fix things…even when I can't…" He sniffled. "…found them that night sleeping next to each other in the tent…covered in bee stings…they never told me what happened…"

"He took care of Sam."

"Yeah he did…..I rolled them both up…right then…in that sleeping bag, packed up, and let them sleep in the car….He was so strong…just turning seven and so grown up.." John choked up. "Damn it, he's still my little boy…still that bright eyed kid… Bobby…" Tears fell down his face. He tried to wipe away the water from his eyes. "I can't lose him."

"Look…he's asleep again…..why don't you catch a few Z's yourself. Might help keep him feeling warm too. I'll take first watch, come morning we should set this party off with a bang. Caleb and Jim are bound to have some good tricks up their sleeve."

"Yeah, but if it comes down to it, I want you to do something for me..."

"Sure…sure, John…I…"

"You get my boy outta here and take him to help. A while back I found this faith healer…the real deal….saw him do it… in Nebraska.."

"John…a good hospital and a few beers and Dean will be right as rain."

"You PROMISE!"

"Okay…I promise…just hold on to your boy til we have the upperha..."

"You take him to Roy Le Grange and you heal him."


	8. Letting it Out

-x-x-x-xx

"BOBBY!" The gasp escaped Sam's lip.

"Sammy boy, you okay? You look as pale as a sheet."

"Dad…he wanted to take Dean to Roy?" Sam breath was deeper than usual. "But, when Dean was hurt and dying, I took him to the faith healer."

"We'll there is a story you have to share with me. When did that happen?" Bobby was calm, hoping Sam would latch on to it. He wasn't sure if it was shock or something deeper causing Sam to have such a reaction.

"Dean…he got hurt when we fought a raw head… I looked everywhere. I called Dad and he…………he never came. I was so mad at him. I tried not to be, but I wanted him to be there for Dean. He needed Dad then. Dean has always done everything Dad asked him to…………. and to not be there for him when he was dying…I"

"It's okay. You don't have to hold it in. Dean was dying… again. That boy is like a cat. He has to have 9 lives."

"I hope so." Sam looked hopeful, but solemn.

"Sorry, poor choice of words. How did you find the faith healer?"

"I called Dad, Father Jim, Caleb… and Caleb told me about him."

"We'll that makes sense. Caleb would have known about him after we got out of this mess."

"What do you mean?"

"I suspect your Daddy passed along the information to Caleb. Not that he was right to leave you on your own to face Dean in pain, no matter what reason he thought of. "

"Bobby, it almost killed me, watching him die. Just like now. I kinda want to kick his ass, and then just the other part wants to just hold on to him." Water filled Sam's eyes. "I feel like I have almost lost him so much that nothing can touch him now, but I know…. I just know this one is it…if I can't … can't undo this… I"

"We will, even if I have to knock your brother out to accomplish it."

"Sorry… I just haven't.."

"Holding it all in?"

"Yeah. That time was like a hole in my gut, eating away at me. If Dad was there, he could have at least brought Dean some reassurance. But, he never got to see his son suffer. He got to stand back like some puppet master and watch us play out his schemes. Damn it…" Sam cried. "I loved that man so much and now he's gone…and I can't tell him or kick his ass…or..…" Sam lost the ability to speak.

Bobby clapped Sam's hand. "I know… He knew… don't blame yourself."

"But it is… all of it… Jess, Mom, Dad, and soon Dean. All because of me. Some demon who had plans for me. Why am I so important? Why not Dean? Doesn't he deserve…something."

"Yeah, but you holding this in and snapping at each other is pointless. And you are not to blame for what demons do. So get that out of your head"

"And Dean just acts like this is one big joke…Eating, Drinking, sleeping around like it's a badge of honor to die or me."

"Hell, that boy is scared. He is acting like that to overcompensatefor it. Kinda forcing himself to go for the gusto instead of thinking about it. He ain't afraid to die. He's afraid to leave you behind. The closer we get to the….uh…he's not handling it as well as you think. He just doesn't want you to know."

"But, it matters to me. I don't want him to carry this burden alone. He's my brother. I let myself forget how important he was once, but never again."

"Give him time. In the meantime, you just keep searching. Cut him a bit of slack, but don't let him take advantage of you either…………. You doing okay?"

"Yeah…just got a bit worked up."

"It happens."

Bobby shuffled to the frig and pulled out three more beers. "Here you need another."

"Two?"

"Nah..I'm going to check in on your lunkhead brother. Always good to have a peace offering…"

"Yeah…I'll come with you." Sam shifted from his chair, ready to find his wayward brother.

"I think you should stay here for a bit. He'll be back when he's ready. You need some time to yourself too. Just relax."

Still not convinced that was what he really wanted to do, Sam half heartedly sat back down. Bobby nodded at him and pushed the screen door, leaving Sam to collect himself.

Several feet from the door, Dean sat with his back against the building, dangling his legs over some wooden slats. Bobby wandered easily to the exact spot and hunkered down beside him.

"You're welcome to come inside and listen."

Dean didn't answer.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. I know what you're going thru ain't easy."

Sucking in a breath, Dean glanced at Bobby. "Yeah…I'm sorry too. I just……..…thanks for entertaining Sammy. You can make up a good story Bobby."

"You telling me you weren't in that much pain."

"Hell yeah… felt like I wanted to rip off my skin..but Dad, that wasn't him anymore. It use to be……..A very long time ago. But not then..not anymore..…" Dean turned away before he got too emotional.

"You don't remember all that…You were really delirious."

"Still if it helps Sam, I don't mind if you embellish it."

"Son, I'm not. All that happened. You scared your Daddy and me both that night, but you fought like hell. Like you should be now…"

Dean's head snapped and stared at Bobby again. "He did all that…." A crackle twinged his voice. "Really?"

"Yeah, he was so afraid for you."

"But Sam called him before we saw Roy and he never came."

"I don't know why he didn't. All I can tell you is, I think your Daddy had a hand in getting you help. So maybe he knew you were safe. I won't make excuses for John. It is what it is. I can't make you feel better about it, but you need to know…"

"Bobby, I yelled at him…right before he died… I never yelled at my Dad like that before. He was upset I didn't tell him about Sam's visions and I yelled at him because he didn't come when we were in Lawrence or when I was dying. If he sent us to see Roy…he just let me yell at him and he took it without defending himself." A tear rolled down upon the freckles of Dean's cheek.

"He deserved it. He left you boys. Don't be guilty for standing up to him. John was not always right. Messed up a lot… just like all of us…..you want to come inside… I still have more story to tell."

"No..not yet. I just need…I…"

"It's fine. Brought you a beer anyway. Just let it all sink in and try to understand Sam just wants to help and keep you around."

"Yeah…he pretty much is a pain, but I can count on him."

"Come in when you're ready." Bobby patted Dean's shoulder gently, knowing the realization of tenderness from his Dad had affected the boy profoundly. The puffiness in Dean's eyes was barely holding back the emotions. Dean need time to let it sink in. Bobby hoped it would renew Dean's interest in holding onto his family just like he had that night of suffering a few years ago.

**Author's Note: Sorry it is not really a plot development piece. But, I wanted to bring in how the boys are dealing with things. Hope you like it.. I promise more Dean hurting in the next update. Please bear with me. Review are love (even the bad ones). Thanks.**


	9. Pancakes

-x-x-xx-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Letting the screen door close gently behind him, Bobby returned his focus to the youngest Winchester. Sam waited eagerly, expecting Dean to follow right behind the seasoned hunter. Bobby sensed Sam's alarm. "He's okay. Just cooling off and drinking a beer. You know how he gets protecting you."

"I'm so tired…………When he found out I might have a lead…he was so angry..."

"I think it's best we move along with the story…and not rehash that argument…" Bobby glanced at same poignately, then whispered. "He doesn't need him to walk in and hear about all the things we have been up to without his knowledge."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. No sense in getting myself worked up again." Sam played along with the ruse. Mainly, he still wanted to hear the story and know why Bobby and John fought over Dean and how he was involved. "So, how did you get out of there and to the healer. Roy acted like he never met Dean when I took him there…you would think he would remember someone like my brother."

"Never made it there. That night went on forever, watching you brother suffering and fading in an out of reality. The burden of guilt on John was about to crush him and lead him away from you boys, too. I was fit to be tied and ready to strangle those demons myself. All John could think about was how all this started years ago and how he could protect what he had left."

-x-xx-xx-x-xx-

"John…you and Dean will go together. Listen to who he is asking for. It ain't me."

"He doesn't need me anymore. He's a grown man. I don't know when that happened. I blinked and that little boy was a man. Sometimes I look at him…and.. I swear I see my happy son. That night, before...Mary…...he was so excited every time I came home. Just leaped in my arms every night." John started off distantly, trying to keep the worry and sorrow out of his voice. Mostly, he failed miserably at hiding what he was feeling. " I got him this little car…matchbox…I don't even know…those little metal cars. It was black and he called it the Impala. Actually, he called in Impaya…don't even think the damn toy was an Impala. But he didn't care……He never complained even then…just happy with what he got. He wanted to go play with Sam that night and show him that stupid thing. I said no… told him to go to bed…If I had let him, we would have been there… maybe Mary would have been alive."

"You don't know that. You could have lost more that night. Living in the past has gotten you nothing."

"I know… I lost Mary, then Sam….now…I am losing him…" John rocked Dean gently in his arms, careful to not wake his son. "You hang on for me, kiddo. Okay!... I swear this will be over soon."

"SAMMY!'" Dean starteled in a dream and pain.

"Shhh…. Sam's not here."

"Dad, those things… they got Sam… We have to get him back. We have to." His arms whirled in panic and fight.

"No one has Sam. Calm Down!" John tried to grapple and restrain Dean's flaying arm.

Dean gazed across the small, confined room, seeing something that John couldn't see. "They got Sam…the ghouls…they…"

"Shh…no, they didn't." His sons panic stopped when pain grabbed hold again.

"Dad, I want to see Sam. Take me to him." He gasped out between spasms. "Please….areggg…please." He panted in misery.

"I will. I promise, if you hold on." John clutched him tightly as if his sheer will could keep Dean from slipping away.

"We could go to that pancake house, like we use to…just off the Mason Dixon…."

"Sure, buddy, we can do that." John held on tighter and a tear shifted down his face. "Get you and Sam both a huge stack and see who can eat more….just like old times."

"John? You okay?"

"Yeah…just let me…" John held Dean so tightly, he could feel the pants decreasing against his chest. John willed his arm to steal away his son's anguish.

Dean's ear rested against his father's heart, as the young man calmed down his frayed nerves and wrecked body. For a moment he was back in his childhood. "Dad...hold me… I don't want to leave our house….I want Mom back…Dad….hold me please."

John weeped silently as soon as those words begged out from his son. "I got ya. You're safe." His fathers' arms wrapped protectively around him. Those arms were a promise that no danger could touch him. Dean sank into his father, taking great comfort from feeling safe. After a few more spasms, the pain ceased. Slowly Dean's murmurs faded out, but John refused to relent his grasp. Nuzzling closer, Dean sought out the comfort of his father and drifted back to sleep.

"He's out again…."

"You holding up okay… Thought I told you to rest."

"Well listening isn't one of my strong points."

Bobby chuckled. "Seem to be listening to your son. Proud of you for promising to take him to Sam."

"He doesn't want Sam now…"

"John, you're full of crap…he just asked you."

"That pancake house closed before they were even teenagers. He's reliving part of his childhood. Use to take them there any time we were in the East Coast…... Didn't matter if I had to drive out of the way to get to it….I knew they loved it there…. It was one small thing I could give them…Just a time they both could be boys. They use to challenge each other to see who could eat the most. They would eat til they were almost sick, then go to sleep in that big booth."

"Seems to me he keeps thinking about his family…."

John didn't answer, but snapped himself out of his own past. "Okay, kiddo, let's get you comfortable again." Although, Dean slept quite contentedly in his father's arm, John rolled him to the pillow. After he tucked his son back inside the blanket, he left Dean to rest without him. Rejoining Bobby at the window, he watched the villains that kept them trapped. "Bobby, I'm going out there with guns blazing. I want you to get Dean to the car and get out."

"Hell no… I am not going along with that plan. You forget it."

The argument would have continued, but a banging noise came from back rooms of the cabin.

"Bobby, stay here and protect him. I'm going to check that out to make sure we are secure."

Bobby agreed, thankful the urgency of a possible attack had washed away John's plan for the moment. Leaving John to secure to check the back rooms, Bobby watched mindfully at the front.

"SAMMY!" Dean screamed weakly.

"Shh… easy kid." Bobby rushed to Dean's side and crouched so he could look Dean in the eye.

"Sam."

"Sam's fine. We got ourselves a situation, your Dad is checking it out." Bobby grasped Dean's face to get him to focus. "You understand?"

"Yeah….yeah…" he panted breathlessly.

"You're doing great. Just hang in there."

"JOHN!" Bobby yelled to check on his friend's progress.

"It's nothing!!!….Just a old shelf that fell down. It's really wet in the back rooms… floors ready to give out… I'm putting down fresh salt barriers just to be safe. Don't need them washing away in this rain." John screamed from the far back rooms.

"ALRIGHT!...See we got everything covered. How you doing?"

Dean looked around blankly, trying to focus on his surroundings.

"Dean?" Grabbing the boys face again. "You hear me?"

"Yeah…where's Dad…Sammy…"

"John's here…" Just securing our fort. "You doing okay?"

"Bobby?"

"Yeah, you know where you are?"

"Cab….UHHHhargggh" Doubling over into a fetal position, Dean shook in racks of torment. The muscles in his abdomen and back squeezed in distress. Bone, muscles, and nerves sparked alive with convulsions of pain. His hands clutched in fists to deal with the agony within his body.

"Dean!" Bobby jumped from the floor and grabbed the rocking frame He raised Dean to sit against him, and wrapped his arms around the front of Dean's waist. He waited for the younger man to stop shaking and moaning. The heat from Dean's fever induced body worried Bobby. "How you doing?"

As his breath evened out and the newest pain spasm passed, Dean attempted to speak. "Still cold…..can't"

"I got ya…lean against me. That will help." Dean continued to shiver and Bobby anxiously grasp at a blanket that had fallen when the spasms began. It couldn't hurt to give Dean a physical presence to hold on to as well as the body heat he needed.

"Bobby… Sam…."

"Hush up…you have time to do that later."

"He has to know… has to know I don't hate…arggggg..please…ummmmmm….I want to see him."

"You will. I swear."

"Call him… please..."

"Dean, we don't need to get him in this mess….if he knows you are sick…he'll get here to find lots of demons at the gate."

Dean was paler than ever, His cheekbones stood out in frightening angles with dark shadows in the hollows of his eyes. "Please call him…In my contacts….cell." The attack upon his body and nerve endings caused a pain none of them thought possible. His body convulsed before dropping harder against the man supporting him. "Please…call.." His voice rang with the tone of a man believing his death would come soon. "Just one last time…"

"Okay…just hold on…" Bobby reached inside his flannel shirt pocket, where he had stored Dean's cell. "I'm dialing right now." He put the phone next to Dean's ear, letting the sick man hear the rings trill.

It wasn't long before a voice echoed on the receiving end. "Hello?'

"Sam" Dean mutter weakly.

"Yes…hello? Who is this?"

Dean cleared his throat, trying to give his voice the presence Sam would know. "Sammy."

"Dean!"

"Yeah….Sam."

"Whatever you want…Just don't…don't… I don't care what scheme or trouble you are in. I'm not bailing you out of jail or coming because you and Dad…It's over for me. Just accept it. Don't call me for anything under any circumstances…." The line clicked dead.

"Sammy…" Dean whimpered. Tears rolled from pain in his heart, more than the pain of his body.

"I'll call him back, tell him he's a jackass. Just you hold on… Your brother…"

"No…let him be….it's my fault. I didn't leave with him when he decided to leave…He thinks I chose Dad…it's my fault."

"You shouldn't have to choose."

"I taught him to be that way…I thought, if I shielded him from the pain and scary part of our world…..He could be happy, like I was when Mom….it just kept him and Dad at a distance….it's my….my fault…. Is it possible to love someone and hate them too?….I…..." As few grasps took his voice. Dean's head swam and he collapsed heavily against the man holding him. His breath became more shallow as if they were going to stop.

"No…no…no…Boy… don't you quit on me now."


	10. What I've Done

-x-x-x-xx-xx-x-x-xx-xx-x-xx-x-xx-x-x

The sharp influx of air vacuumed into the Sam's shell-shocked, stunned, gaping mouth. The wheeze sounded like it could suck in all the air in the room. It was obvious Sam had no idea of his part that night or the ramifications of how it affected his brother. He knew those words had to hurt his brother. Now his long passed, bitter words smacked a cannonball of guilt into his gut.

Bobby stopped talking, knowing the shock hearing this particular part of the story was bound to sting in Sam's mind. Dean being in pain was concern enough for Sam, but to add his insults to the injuries of that night was unbearable. Bobby knew with each moment of the story, the likelihood of Sam feeling responsible could happen. "Sam" His voice was softer in a tone he seldom used.

"He called me?...he…..I…." Sam stammered. "…and I hurt……..I never knew he was…" Sam was repulsed by the things he had said that night years ago. His eyes were fixed and refused to blink.

Patiently, Bobby reassured the youngest Winchester in traditional un-sugarcoated Bobby fashion. The past few years had been a whirlwind of demon activity, loss, pain, and there had been little time for peace. "I'm not here to guilt you. Seems like you boys can do that on your own. For the life of me, I don't know why you can see your own self-worth. Think off all the good you have done- Your Daddy, Dean, and you, have saved a lot of people from a lot of pain. But, when it comes to each other, you are sometimes the blindest bunch of fools I have ever seen. You said your brother didn't care about how you feel. Seems to me, he cared a lot. He just wanted to hear your voice at least one… "

"One last time!...I thought he was calling to…trying to twist me in doing what Dad wanted. How could I have been so wrong!?! He never called me again….until he just showed up after Dad went missing.…..I….It wasn't his fault… It never… I never…I was so…I don't even know where my head was then sometimes…I don't regret college, but I shouldn't have shut him out. I don't even know what I was thinking… "

"You were pig-headed." Bobby didn't coat the truth. "The lot of you are pig-headed."

"After I said that…he came for me…..how could he forgive me or want to see me after that…I…."

"Cause he didn't care what you said. He just needed you to be okay."

"He needed me then and I just turned him away. How could I….I wish you called me back- SCREAMED at me…. told me he was hurt."

"You didn't know he needed you. Should you have talked with your brother?...Yeah….but does he blame you for trying to get out of this job? Hell NO! He, above anyone else, knows the price this job and life bring. He didn't blame you for wanting a life. He just didn't know why he wasn't a part of it. And if I called you again that would have only got you caught up in our mess. He was so in and out of it….he barely knew we were there, but Sam….." Bobby sighed, trying not to get too caught up in the desperation he felt on that black day years ago. It was hard enough to not feel desperation about Dean's current deal. "Sam, the point was that even with all the pain, he only had two things on his mind- you and John. "

"I was so stupid…..I was so angry he sided with Dad…I didn't know he saw what I wanted to... I was so tired of having nothing...I thought I had nothing, but I had someone who wanted nothing but the best for me. I just couldn't see it then….He never…..He just wanted our family. I couldn't see it then and I hurt him….I never wanted to..."

"He knows that. Let me ask, when he came to Stanford that night, did you go with him?"

"Yeah. I didn't want to… I looked for every excuse to not go. But, when I said he could handle it on his own…and he said he didn't want to…there was something in his eyes...he..."

"He was hurting. He lost both of you at that point. The proverbial rug was more than pulled out from under him. Seems to me, you cared about what he was feeling then, even if you didn't want to admit it."

"After Jess died, I really needed him. And I knew he was going to be there…like he always was. I felt like I was using him to tether myself to. I was so lost after that…. Before, I thought he was smothering me when I left, but he was just protecting me. And he needed Dad and I so badly….he just wanted his family…It's all he has ever wanted… and I was too selfish to give him that….Bobby, I can't believe he would want to give his life for me….not after that." A tear dropped from his eye. Too much frustration and pain had been bottled inside of him for too long.

"Sam, I don't want you to get hurt by this… Maybe it was a mistake to tell you at all.

"No, Bobby! He had to hate me for yelling at him- for leaving him."

"Sam…yelling at Dean was hurtful, but not hate worthy. We all speak in anger. And you leaving….he was just torn…..You left an emptiness in him and he filled it the only way he knew how. Why do you think he called you all those times!? He could be with you, watch over you…And in a way he knew wouldn't hurt you. He just wanted to be with his brother."

"I just have so much to answer for…I should tell him…make it right."

"One day…..not now…you need to be in the right place in your own head…"

Sam nodded, even thought he was not in agreement.

"You have enough to deal with right now and we are going to make sure you have plenty of years with your equally pig-headed brother."

A chuckle mixed with the melancholy. "Seems like I missed a lot about Dean and Dad."

"They missed a lot about you."

"You okay?"

"Yeah….yeah, I'm good." He wasn't good at all. Sam realized how often he taken his brother for granted. "He always was there for me…always…And I never had to ask him for anything. If I was cold when we were small, he gave me his jacket…When I needed to get library books for school, he drove me." He sighed and smiled. " He never complained about it…..Why am I so surprised….Of course, he always comes back for me and saves me."

In Sam mind the of course even sounded too little. Only hours ago, he had told Bobby that Dean didn't care. Thinking that was easier, than dealing with the pain of handling the year long death sentence of his brother. For once in his life Dean had been selfish, finally taking something for his own and getting something he wanted. The only thing he ever desired was his family and now he sacrificed all he had to keep it. Sam counted himself extremely lucky to have a brother to come back for him and save him time after time. More than lucky to have a brother care so much. Not all brothers would be there for their siblings, and only a few brothers would sacrifice their lives. Sam owed Dean everything. Finally admitting to himself, he would be lost without his brother's unconditional love, humor, support, and guidance. He ultimately knew why Bobby had told him this story.

"Bobby. I understand now. He always puts me first. In everything! The closer I get, the more I dig into his deal…. the more it means he loses what he wants more than anything. But, he's just as important to me. I feel like I'm sinking." Sam's voice cracked and more tears fell. "And I'm crawling for solid ground and I can't find it. I can't lose him now, Bobby. Nothing is worth that to me. How can I fight this deal and him too?… Anything that endangers me gets on Dean's bad side."

"Only this time he is the threat. And he is being torn apart by it. He wants to live and be with his family, but if he does…"

"It's a no win situation in his mind. So if I get too close, he lashes out."

"Yep. The burden on him is hard to bear."

"It's my burden too and I want to be there for him. I missed the opportunity with Dad and I won't lose Dean the same way with….. If he had died that night…my last words to him would have been angry and he would have thought I hated him. So, whatever you and Dad did to save him, thank you. Now, it's my turn to keep him going."

"You don't have to thank me, Sam. I told you, John and you boys are my family too." Bobby leaned in and whispered again. "We just have to be sneaker and keep Dean in the dark about our plans." Smiling, he allowed his voice to return to normal, hoping Sam felt better getting out some of his own bottled demons. "Besides, in this life you have to look out for each other.

"Yeah, but still… you don't have to look out for us and you do…"

Bobby looked awkwardly at Sam, clearing his throat before he spoke again. "I think that's enough story time for now. I didn't mean for you to feel so bad about…"

"No…no…. I want to know what happened. If it means facing part of myself and my part in it… I don't care. If that was the night Dad left, I want to know why. I want to know why he left a son, who was nothing but loyal to him. "


	11. Shaken

---------------------------

Sam's tone didn't sit right with Bobby. Unquestionably, Sam's emotional state had just been taxed and anger with himself and anyone who might have hurt Dean was at a dizzying height. Bobby debated how to handle the unwarranted anger for a mere second, before he decided the best course was to push on. "We'll if you want to really know...alright, but remember to cut yourself AND your Daddy a break." His words commanded, not requested, Sam to obey. In fact, this was one of the sternest orders Bobby ever gave Sam. He didn't wait for a protest, but took off where he left off. "Now, I thought for sure that Dean has stopped breathing, right there in my arms. It's not a moment I ever want to see again. He was gasping for air and I started yelling at him. I was already thinking we might have to give him CPR. Your Daddy heard me screaming and was in that room before I had time to blink."

-x-xx-xx-xx-xx-x

"Stay with me, Dean!" Bobby yelled.

"DEAN! John roared.

"He's breathing is harsh… I think it's trying to stop."

Before John could get to the bedside, Dean flopped and jerked so violent that he freed himself from Bobby's arms. Tumbling himself to halfway to the floor, Dean shook violently and shuttered from pain.

"DEAN!" John jumped and skidded down to the floor like a kid sliding into home plate. "Dean…Dean…it's Dad…look at me…" He grasped his son's face and tried to get him to respond.

"Help me get him down to the floor." Bobby screamed. John didn't need to be told how to handle an emergency, but Bobby wasn't taking any chances. All day, John's concern over Dean had made him attack like a caged, starved animal. Now was not the time for John to fall apart.

Showing no sign of a breakdown, John pulled his son gently to the ground, watching the pained way his son's lungs rose and fell. Dean's knees buckled. John caught him, pulling him softly to lay half on the floor and half against him. "I got you… I got you… Hold on….please."

Dean strained to catch air as if he was experience a severe asthma attack. His torso and limbs shook as bad as junkie harrowed his body from withdrawal. Fighting to stay conscious alone taxed his energy.

John would pay any price now to hear his son's voice calling out for him. Any toll would be paid for a single uttered word. "Come on, kiddo. Dad's here. Breathe for me. Speak to me…"

Bobby had already joined them on the floor, feeling useless as they watched the young man suffer without a single means to cease his pain or even ease his pain. "John, he hears you. Just keep talking to him."

"I know he doesn't understand what I am telling him… I just…"

Bobby knew Dean was beyond any comprehension at the moment. Most of what he uttered was part of some dream or distant memory in his fever induced brain. Still he lied anyway. "Never underestimate your boy. He's there."

The words seemed to help John as he held the shuddering and almost gasping form in his arms.

Dean's back muscle tightened and pain radiated deep within him. A hurt so deep inflicted upon him that his only response sounded out in a whimper and gasp.

John gulped at the whimpering sound that just sounded from his son. "Hold on… listen to my voice…it's going to be alright." It was John's turn to lie, feeling nothing was going to end right this night.

Steadily, Dean began to lose the fight to stay conscious. The misery racked upon him stole his breath. "D... dad, it...hurts...really...re... hurts...ugh," Dean groaned out breathlessly, unable to control the agony inside him any longer. His breathing sounded labored and thick as if his lungs were closing on him. He hunched over slightly, cradling his abdomen as his body heaved and twitched.

John immediately pulled Dean closer upon him until his son rested on his shoulder and his hand rubbed soothingly against his son's back. "It's okay, Dean." John coached, gently circling his son's spine and back muscles. The soothing had not effect and John was forced to watched Dean cough uncontrollably.

Bobby waited to see what he could do. Worry etched his and John's faces as they feared any moment they would have to fight to bring Dean back from the brink.

Dean's face turned a worrying shade of purple, fighting for every single breath in between harsh coughing fits. The struggle of lungs and body left behind a wheeze every time he pulled in a breath.

John felt Dean grip the sleeve of his shirt tightly, while his green eyes widened with panic. "Can't...breathe."

"No… you got to calm down... Just breathe with me." John panicked. "This is my fault. This should have been me... breathe dammit, Please!" John shouted frantically pulling Dean to rock in a cradle. The gentle pressure of his fingers still comforting his son's back.

Dean's green eyes frantically watched and searched, trying to find something to help him. The pain seemed to skyrocket to unbearable.

John cradled his son, rubbing a reassuring hand up and down his trembling back. The wheezes in Dean's chest still threatened to steal away the life giving air.

"How's he doing?" Bobby asked, knowing it was bad. He was more concerned about how John was going to take this. Bobby put one reassuring hand on John's shoulder and the other on Dean's trembling hand.

Dean flopped listless as his head rolled from side to side. His eyes were half glints as he tried to focus on anything, not really aware of his surrounding or the men around him. John glanced at his watch. "It's been too long... over six minutes…he can't catch a good breath…..His breathing hasn't improved at all. He's trying so hard… but …he…" the crackle returned to John's voice. "…It's getting worse."

"He is one tough kid… sort of stubborn…"

"Yeah…think he learned that from you Bobby…" John attempted to keep his act together as much as it pained him.

"I doubt that…Think that one is genetic trait..."

"Da..Dad." Dean gasped, searching the air blindly. John reached out and gripped Dean's other hand. More coughs followed and he struggled to catch a breath again.

Frowning and trying to hold on to his emotions, John noticed that Dean's lips where turning an abhorrent hue of blue. "Dean...stay with me… just breathe and fight…."

"Sa...Sammy..wh...where..."

"Shh, shh, Kiddo, don't talk, just take deep breaths." John soothed.

"Bobby, I thought earlier I would give anything to hear his voice, but not like this…not in such pain…not...gasping…."

"Easy…both of you need to hold on….just..."

"DEAN!" John called out as he watched his son's chest rise and fall faster in almost pants. Every few breaths, Dean's chest would stop moving at all. The younger hunter's hands clutched tightly over the hands that were there to comfort him. Increasingly, he became more distressed.

Bobby and John startled.

"Hel...Dad...hel...help...me..." Dean's throat was making a strange screeching sound as he fought to pull in air. His trembles grew into full blown, violent shakes and he began to lose control over his own body. Dean's mouth gaped open and his lip quivered.

"He's seizing!" Bobby yelled.

John shimmed Dean to flat on the floor. Bobby helped guide and flip Dean onto his size. Both hunters knew to let him go through the seizure episode with as little restrictions as possible. Those movies about holding a person tongue or holding a person down could hurt Dean more. They only blocked the sharp spasm shakes to keep him from hurting himself on furniture and to keep him positioned on his side in case he vomited. They weren't going to allow him to strangle.

Dean twitched and his body shook and struck out and odd angles. The lack of control left his body to flop like a fish out of water. Tremors held tight to every fiber within him, leaving his body with no control. His eyes rolled to the back of his eyelids, unaware and fading into darkness. Arms and legs twirled and spun wildly.

John felt the impact of his son's flying fist against a thigh. "Just hold on, son." He risked an arm to keep Dean upon his side, paying for it with another impact.

Bobby knew it was killing John to not reach out to Dean, but was proud John remembered to let the seizure happen.

Dean had lost consciousness rapidly while he shook spasmodically. Periodically, his muscles lost all tone as he flopped in limp shakes. A few seconds later, iron rigidity would take over locking the fibers in a tense flex. Just as rapidly, those muscles would release and contract to quake again. Finally, he would twitch as if he had been set ablaze.

"It's going too long. It's been almost 3 minutes. He needs medical help NOW."


	12. Behind Blue Eyes

x-xx—x-x-xx-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x—x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"John, we can't do anything. Let him ride it out… He's going to be okay." Bobby tried to control the wary tone over his optimistic statement.

A tint of bitterness flashed over John's eyes as a response to Bobby's remarks. Words pressed hard to form on John's lips and would have lashed out, but Dean's demeanor began to change.

The violent spasms lessened with a deep labored, blocked breath. Slowly the jerks calmed to a twitch, soon fading to quakes. Finally, Dean stopped shaking and settled. An exhausted sigh pushed out, still sounding blocked. John quickly checked to make sure Dean's air way was clear. As soon as he moved to open Dean's mouth, his son heaved the stomach acid that mostly likely blocked the airway earlier.

The release in his throat sent a warning for Dean to open his eyes. The lids flutter as if trying to break free some invisible glue holding them in place. For several minutes, he drifted in and out before finally prying his eyes open. A few arduous breaths sucked in before his eyes gapped slightly open, although this monumental attempt only succeeded in opening his eyes a sliver.

"Dean?" His dad's concerned face hovered over his. Dean didn't even move, but limply hung as John pulled him back into an embrace. "It's over...it's….I got ya… I know it hurt…you'll be okay…I swear…"

A shudder of panic welled up from Dean. His lips tried to mumble the incoherent thoughts in his head. He switched tactics, trying to gain attention by raising his half limber, barely moving, hand. He failed at trying to coordinate and move the unwilling limb. Quickly the flailing hand intertwined in another's firm grip. Still he attempted to pull the hand as if he needed to relay a most urgent warning, but finding the weighted hand held him firmly.

"Take it easy, Dean. You're fine. just breathe as easy as you can. You had a seizure. Your okay son, take deep breaths…that's it, you're okay" John felt a small pain tremor shake down Dean's frame.

John and Bobby shared a quick glance of hopelessness as Dean mumbled and spit out groaned words, which were half slurred with a few clear ones. His half-slit eyes darted in some unknown concern.

"No...listen……shhhhhhh……listen." John pulled his son's arm close to the Dean's torso and wrapped one arm to rest him to rest his head on a bicep. The remaining hand cradled a cheek to provide comfort. Dean's eyes opened an increment more and he let out a small moan grumble. "Hold on... just stay here." John was not relenting his grip on his eldest, wanting to make sure he was okay before he tried to move him. John tightened his grip around Dean, who was left panting again; still unable to catch a breath from the pain in his torn, racked body.

Bobby kneeled down, not really sure how to comfort two of his friends in such different areas of pain. 'I'm going to clean this up, then we can try to get some water in him?"

"Yeah…yeah….he needs hydration..yeah.." John confirmed in an almost stale, zombified tone.

Bobby went on about his self-assigned mission, trying to give whatever privacy he could to the father and son. As much as he cared for them both, he felt a bit like an invader at the moment. Still, it was difficult to not watch the crushing scene like a lurker at a car accident.

The defeated look on John's face reflected the same disquiet in his voice. "Hey, buddy, you feel any better now?" John asked in a soft comforting tone. Suddenly, his son spun in a wave of dizziness and pain. A weak hand grabbed hold of the arm embracing him, making John squeeze firmly around Dean's waist.

Dean flopped, trying to get free of the pain. Darkness seemed to spill over his eyes, while his muscles shook with a fire burning through fibers and flesh. He bucked, responding to the ebb and flow of the stabbing throes that raged an onslaught on his tissue.

A set of strong arms stopped him, catching him and lifting him back to rest upon a strong forearm. Dean gasped and coughed in response to the pain the arms caused as it made contact with his overly sensitive muscles, bones, and skin. Briefly, Dean wormed a bit in the spasm, finding a firm anchor around him.

"Easy Dean...just breathe through it." The instruction whispered in half registering ear. Whether it was some instinctual need to obey his father or merely a lack of energy, he complied, falling back against his father. Arduous breaths seeped in wheezes, confessing the pain and fatigue.

Realizing that Dean wasn't going to fight him anymore, John loosened the tight hold, serving now as a warm backrest.

Slowly, the eyes blinked a few times, returning to the groggy slits. The disturbed jabber once again plagued Dean's broken speech.

"Dean…..I'm here! Don't worry…. Oh please…..I know you don't understand….and I hope somewhere you latch onto my voice and know I won't let you go, EVER! You hear me… please…" As John spoke and the words spilled frantically and emotionally, the worried father began to slightly gently rock his agonized son. A stifled sniffle stole John's voice and all he could do was move back and forth, holding his first born. John willed the tears to stay from his eyes.

Silence was often a hunter's best ally, but tonight it hung on John like a death knell. His fear of losing Dean ate him like a canker worm to his heart. At the moment, rocking his son became his sole purpose. His hand cupped a stubbled cheek once more, hoping to reach deeply into his son. Staring down in the half-mast green pools, he smiled as he traced the dancing freckles upon his son's face with his fingers. The gentle motion ceased Dean's frantic, mummbled pleadings. His son wasn't nestling into the swaying; his head flopping with the rhythm more than embracing the gentle measure.

Bobby made short work of the recent mess and looked worried at the way Dean tottered. Still, the young hunter quieted and stopped fighting against his father. Finding his favorite flask, he rejoined them. "Okay… you want to lean him up a bit?"

John complied and shifted Dean to sit up, but kept his son's cheek in his hand, holding it in place. A small groan of protest filtered out, but passed quickly. Bobby carefully tipped the flask to allow the holy water to wet the dryness of Dean's throat. His efforts met no resistance or active assistance from Dean.

The small trickle barely moistened the dry opening, but as the life providing fluid hit his throat, he startled. The sensation heightened his alertness and he coughed in reflex.

"Easy..You need to drink, so don't fight it, just work with it." His Dad's low, calming voice reassured by his ear. John started running his fingers against Dean's cheek in a soothing motion like he was comforting a baby. Dean stopped fighting and sank back into John's welcoming arm.

Bobby nudged the flask forward again, letting the smallest drops pour in. When a small puddle had formed and held in Dean's mouth, his worry spiked again. A sluggish pace lingered as the seasoned hunters waited for the young man's body to reflex and take the swallow down. Just when it appeared hopeless, a swallow reaction occurred. Bobby attempted to provide another, finding Dean was actively seeking hydration.

A sigh release seemed to almost crackle and cause John to cry in relief. "He's drinking… He's drinking Bobby!"

"Yeah.. He's got..." Bobby fought off his own sigh and breakdown release. "You're doing good, kid…that's it…" Eagerly he pushed the container forward, providing as it as fast as it could be safely drank. After several small gulps, Dean turned away, protesting to drink further. Bobby repositioned the container, getting one more small sip as Dean groaned.

"I think he done…"

"John? He's…" Words didn't need to be said. The dire desperation of their circumstances and Dean's condition pierced them both.

"Go on… you rest now. " John hoped some small mercy would wash away all the anguish from his son. Without forethought, he rocked his son back and forth again. "Yeah… that's it… relax …" Dean nuzzled closer this time, his body accepting the motion happily. "Shh… yeah ….just …shh ..." John smiled.

"You okay John?"

Reddened eyes held back tears and a few broken throat clears tried to calm the worry of his voice. "Yeah. Just thinking about another time I rocked him like this……humph….I had hurt him, yelled at him…and he just took it and kept going..."

"I'm sure he understands you're stressed and wanted…."

"No, it's not…it's just a sad excuse….And I can never take it back now….I had been hunting this Striga…..Sammy…….Sammy, got attacked. I told Dean to watch him, but he left Sam alone. I came back just in time……….laid into Dean so bad, I think it crushed him. Dropped them off at Jim's, then went back after it…when I got back, Jim asked me to help him with a local hunt… So, I gave Dean orders to clean up the basement…I knew Sam would tag along with him down there….When I got back, Sam was working and Dean was sleeping on an old couch in the basement. I was so mad at him for slacking off. I just stormed on over and Sammy… hell, Sam was kicking me and telling me to leave Dean alone. It was the first time Sam defied me. But he got me just before I shook Dean awake. Sam was protecting Dean…He was hotter than hell… burning up with a fever…The kid was so sick…had been for 2 days….only Sam noticed….I didn't even see it… My son needed me and I just barked at him……Later that night, Dean got ill and I found him on the bathroom floor. Didn't think he would ever stop throwing up. I tried to get him back to bed, but he wanted to stay on the cold floor…. Damn, high fever…all he could say was he was sorry he let me down with Sam…I let him down… I should have prepared him better. I knew then my boy had to grow up faster. I had to teach him to be strong and fight… But for that night…I just rocked him…and sang to him…He just drifted to sleep in my arms…so sweet and perfect….it was…Sam came in a bit later and crawled next to Dean in my arms….So friggin perfect…"

John blinked at tears and his lip shuddered, while still rocking slowly. "It was the happiest I had been in a long while…just holding my boys, protecting them. I'm sitting half the night in a bathroom and I loved every second of it… Sounds so insane…but my boys were just boys… and it was the last time I could let them kids. I couldn't let anything hurt them. I just wanted to rock them both for as long as I could…." A sob came back and stole his voice. The ability to hold back any emotion was slowly getting too difficult. Water teased then took over his eyes and he cried in regret and fear.

Dean groaned, startling John. "Shh… I'm here..." John didn't bother to wipe his eyes, but increased his speed of rocking.

"I think you need to remember that…how much both those boys need you…even now." Bobby soothed.

"Shh… just relax, just go to sleep for me….just like then." Almost as if he was lost in the moment years ago, John began to quietly and brokenly sing. The melancholy lyrics of The Who's _Behind Blue Eyes_ caressed over Dean. His eyes fell and he eased closer to the arms that held him. John continued, letting time pass and he sang the same lyrics over and over, even as Dean was obviously falling asleep. "You don't know….shhhhh…….what it's like to be the sad man…shhhhh…shh…Behind Blue Eyes…shhhhh….yeah that's it, go on to sleep…" After a few minutes, Dean nuzzled next to John, sleeping and calming. "Yeah…did you like that…make you feel better…..shhh…" John embraced his son fully to him.

"You want me to help you get him back to bed?" Bobby offered.

"In a bit… I just want…"

"Okay…" Bobby started to tell John to take his time, that he would be there, or some other comforting word, but the demons had other plans. Before he could speak, a new feminine voice joined the mix.

"JOHN!!!" The strength and self-assuredness oozed over her yell. "JOHN! I know you can hear me." Outside the demon waited just behind the closed, salted door. "Is he screaming yet!?! ...asking you to kill him just to end the pain? He is going to experience pain that only the likes of hell can dish out. Wait till he begs you to help him… cries out to Dear Daddy, wanting to die. I can help him John, if you want me to. "

-x-x-xx-x-xx-x-x-x-x-x-xx-x-x-x-x-x-x


	13. Let's Make a Deal

-x-x-xx-x-xx-x-x-x-x-x-xx-x-x-x-x-x-x

"Damn… How did he…How did Dad even keep it together?! I can't even keep going right now and he…he took care of Dean….I wish I could….I wish he would have told me…he must have been so afraid to lose Dean in that hospital. I wish he told me about this after the yellow eyes demon attacked us."

"Well, getting smacked by a semi was a little disconcerting… not to mention seeing Dean laid up was hard on him. He wouldn't even talk to me. I thought he was going to call that demon and end it once and for all."

"I thought he was giving up on Dean then. But, he wasn't. I could have helped him. I would have found a way to save Dean, so we all could be here...then Dean... he wouldn't have made the deal. Dad would have….Why did Dad have to give him that insane moronic idea of sacrifice! Why didn't Dad come to me? Why didn't he tell me?!"

"Probably knew you would stop him from making a deal. John wasn't foolish enough to let you stop him. He knew you would." Sam's waver of blame finger pointing did not go unnoticed. In a few breaths he had blamed himself, his brother, and his father for their current deal predicament. It was evident Sam was floundering on what he should be feeling.

"Bobby…" The childlike innocence and fear flicked over his words.

"Sammy, you okay?"

"I'm scared. What if I can't…"

"You will!"

"I feel like I am slipping into darkness everyday….like some part of me belongs there and Dean is the only thing that keeps me here… keeps me away from the dark ..If I lose him, I don't know if I can beat the darkness inside of me. I'm just so Angry and…"

"Sam, it's natural to feel that way."

"I thought that to…at first….I told myself it was just not true at the gate..… that Dean would never be that stupid to give up on himself. Part of me hates him for it….HATES him! I want to kick his ass so much and so hard...until... until he talks to me... or stops fighting me...or yells at me...or...or fights for himself. I want to kick him so bad until he can't do anything but follow what I tell him...until he sees how selfish and horrid…. but…the other part just wants to kill everything just to keep him safe. And I'm not sure which one of those things wins on a given day. It's like I get to grieve for him every day, knowing soon…one day…. I have to save him or we both lose. I can't do this without him."

"Sounds to me like you are resent what he did…you feel you failed him?"

"Yeah..."

"Let's see…anger, guilt, depression, confusion, moody..."

"It's like everything hitting at once…"

"Sam, you ARE grieving… It's understandable and Dean does needs a good ass kickin' now and again! Just make sure it's for the right thing. It's not for his love for you. Stupidity…Yeah...that's a good reason."

"I wish I could…"

"I wish I could have… I wish I would have…there's no time for that."

"I know. I've got all this fire inside of me, and then I end up being really mad at myself. It's just not like me to feel so much anger. And… I feel so unconnected to him. He always held back, but I think he doesn't care to die…it's like he wants it…I don't..."

"Hell's Bells, Sam. I told you…he's afraid, more afraid than you know. And it will hit him soon that he doesn't want to die. Can you hold on and be there when he does?"

"Of course, he…." A thoughtful tender Sam mused sweetly. "He did this for me. He traded his life for mine. How could I not do this for him." Sam looked disheartened. He sighed, and then sucked in a harsh sounding breath. "DAMN IT!" He screamed. The transition of love to anger seeped in swiftly. "He traded himself for me! SONVABITCH!" The half empty beer bottle flew in his rage and smashed upon the nearest wall.

"HEY….hey!" Bobby yelled. Then comforting, he let his tone soften as he spoken. "hey… hey… hey… easy… I know…"

Sam gulped and raked his hands in the mop of his hair. "Sorry...sorry… I"

"It's just a beer, Sam." The older man gave him a wink and spoke even softer. "This is just as hard on you. Nothing has ever come easy. It's hard on him, too. And, I'm not telling you something you don't already know. "

"Guess you were right. I do get my temper from my Dad." Suddenly, Sam felt awkward and wanted to change the subject to focus on anything but how he was feeling and Dean's deal.

Bobby, fully aware of Sam's intention to divert attention, let the younger hunter lead him away from the current and back to the past.

"At least you do have a bit of a diplomat in you. John was twice as stubborn as both of you boys together. I thought he was going to march out that door and rip the demon bitches head off with his bare hands."

-x-xx-x-xx-x-xx-x-x-xx-x-

"JOHN!...John…" The sing-song playfulness mocked over the dervish pleasure of teasing through the protected, closed door.

Bobby glanced worriedly at his friend, expecting a rocket temper to explode. "John!?... don't listen. Dean needs you to stay focused."

John stared blankly as if he was only capable of holding his son tightly to him…"Shh…that's better…just relax and rest." The gentle sway back and forth comforted father and son in those agonizing moments. He was no longer lost in thought or memory, but just lost in what to do. The only thing that he seemed sure of was that Dean needed him badly. "There you go. No more pain for the moment. It's all gone….shhhhh….yeah…. just sleep for me." The rocking became almost catatonic.

All Bobby could do was wait and watch, hoping that Dean and John would hold on until Jim and Caleb could help even the odds. Several painstaking moments passed with Bobby watching the quiet exchange between father and son. He could only listen to demons gloating and taunting at the door.

Moments turned and added to over an hour with a change in the scenario. John being silent, Dean sleeping and breathing harshly and the demon taunting. Until, finally, John broke the silence. "You want to help me get him back to bed?"

"Yeah, let's get him comfortable again." Although the young man looked content and comfortable in his father's arms, Bobby didn't argue. "He's been out for an hour now. Think he might be kicking this things ass." He said. However, he noticed Dean shiver.

"Yeah… he is a tough kid…:

"JOHN!" The demon taunted still.

"That goes without saying. Got to be proud of the way his fighting this." Bobby leaned and hunkered down to guide Dean forward gently. He only hoped John was ignoring the demon calling too. The slightest whimper of protest squeaked out as Bobby moved his arm under Dean's head, pulling him away from John's protection.

"Easy… easy…" John soothed.

Bobby wasn't sure if John was providing instructions to him or to his son, but Dean quieted again, taking in a deep harsh breath.

"JOHN!" The taunting continued.

Between the two men's painstaking and gentle effort, Dean was moved with little disruption to his slumber. Only a few groans of protest and exasperated breaths stirred from the transfer-none strong enough to wake him. As soon as his young hunters was placed in the cot and his head guided to a pillow, sleep had hold of him so deeply even the flutters of pain didn't disturb him.

"Well, look at that. He is finally getting some rest!"

John smiled. "Yeah. He's so tired." John's hand cupped his son's cheek and caressed it lovingly. A single finger traced the darkening circles of Dean's eyes. Although rest had finally come, the pain still etched over all his features like they were permanently stuck that way.

"Johnny BOY! Come out, come out wherever you are. Dean needs my help! Why is it so quiet?" The demon gloated knowingly. "Don't tell me… Dean… he's not… oh…He's not dead already! That so..so… delicious..." A chuckle spilled from her newly taken host. "If you hadn't done that little stunt, I could have been in time to save him… Poor... poor... poor little misunderstood pathetic Dean. Daddy's little..."

"SHUT UP!" John screamed so loudly even Bobby flinched.

"John, don't let her goad you. They lie! You know that."

"JOHN!!!" The demented satisfaction and self-assuredness oozed over her words once again. "JOHN! So, he is still kicking….hmmm…I know you can hear me and I'll be here, waiting to hear him linger in pain until he screams to DIE!

This time, there was no stopping John. He bulldozed past Bobby, who tried valiantly to hold him back. Bobby's reward was a hard smack to the floor when John pushed past him. The off balanced man scampered to regain his footing, but John was already pulling his gun and jerking the door open.

The bullet resounded in the shocked demon's stomach. John stood behind the salt line, watching the small trickle of blood stop in the demonic possessed flesh.

"John! That wasn't nice!"

"Made me feel better…What do you fu..."

"Tisk...NASTY!…OH, I like that in a man.

"What did you give my SON!"

"Just something special… and painful…I can make it all better…tsk tsk... if Daddy Dearest does something for us….I can save him….AND Sammy…only if you want me to."

"I don't want you to... I want you all to die." John leaned forward and gritted his teeth in gloating woman's face.

"Oh, John! Is this any way to treat a friend baring gifts!'

"GO TO HELL!"

"We know you are close to finding it- a way to hurt us. You have been a bigger bane in our plans than any hunter out there. We thought we could torture it out of you, but you didn't show up…. Instead you sent chucklehead junior... but that just makes it all the more pleasing. You have a choice, tell us where you think the colt is…stop hunting us and you can have your boys- Both of them! And that is a high sacrifice on our part, but you know that."

"Me and my boys will kill all of you with our last breaths!"

"Poetic… cause one of them is dying now and the other… poor Sammy… he is next!"

"You aren't getting my boys or hurting them again. Hear that! Yellow sent you… Didn't he?

"Oh, you know he thinks so much of you. He sent me for this special occassion."

"You tell that yellow eyed bastard and all of your devil friends…I will kill every last one of you. Starting with you!"

There was silence, save for the gentle tapping of rain water against the wood of the cabin and the tin on the roof. John started in the female demon's black pools.

"Oh… I'm touched. I get to go first. I always like being first. Tell me John… if you could live out your life in comfort and have your boys safe and sound…untouchable...in a perpetual sanctuary status for all time, isn't it worth giving up your obsession and calling it quits." The woman stepped forward, edging in hopes the salt barrier would somehow melt away. "I'll help Dean. And you….Sammy… and Dean can all be safe forever. No more pain. No more sorrow. No more worries. All you have to do is stop interfering with our plans and give us what we want."

John squared his shoulders, standing as tall as he could. "I want my son back. Here's my deal. You give me the way to save him and I let you live until the next time."

"You should've thought about that before you sent him here," she said. "Pity…Dean was kinda the hot feisty one…the fun one..." She laughed, and her laughter was echoed by the nightmarish band of demons.

Looking up, John held her in his gaze. She leaned closer, her voice dropping to a sadistic murmur. "You had your chance. I warn you… we will kill anyone who gets in the way. Look over your shoulder, John. Watch your boy dying! You will all be hunted down. You WILL WATCH both of your sons fall. Anyone who stands with you will DIE! Tonight it begins. If you will not move out of the way, we will remove all you hold dear to rip you apart. Tonight Dean pays the price. Enjoy the show." She looked beyond, taking in the sleeping, but stirring Dean. "He hasn't even begun to get the real pain yet. I wonder how tough you will be, knowing you could have saved him."

-x-x-x-xx—x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-


	14. Too Much

x-x-x-xx—x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Shut up! Shut your filthy lying demonic mouth. If anything happens to my boy… you will wish for the comforts of hell." One foot stepped closer to crossing the salt line between him and the demon possessed flesh.

"DAD!!!!!!!!!! ARRRRRRRRRRRGHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHGGHH!"

His son's voice sounded more horrified than ever. The shrill of it sent visible chills down John's spine. The involuntary flinch filtered into his body, sending a loud message to his demonic foe.

"You mean HELL like that John… like the one burning in Dean's gut! Let's see if Dean likes hell first." The satisfaction oozed over her words. "Last chance, John. Think of this as a second chance at a good life. And an end to Dean's suffering. Tick Tock!"

Bobby managed to pick himself off the floor and was halfway to the open door, intent on kicking John's ass when the first of Dean's screams echoed. He had a catch 22 dilemma- John or Dean. He had never planned on facing this kind of choice. Figuring Dean needed both he and John at the moment, and since John was lost in his rage show down with a demon, his choice became clear. He skittered like the wind to the pained man.

Dean could barely hold back a bellow of pain as the burning misery gripped his entire body. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!!!! He yelped a sound like a small injured animal- unable to stop a vocalization of pain or hold anything back. The utter malaise upon him seemed to engulf him with a crushing force.

"JOHN!" The perturb companion hollered. The yell was not needed. By the time Dean filled the silence with a second scream of pure torture; John slammed the door close in the laughing demon's face and rushed to his son.

"DEAN! I'm here! I'm here!

"JOHN!!!! Not nice… don't say I didn't give you a chance." An haute voice glibly teased, still unable to enter over the salt barrier.

"GREWRREWRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" Dean body arched upward, bending in a strange U. His abdomen jutted in odd angles as if every nerve in his body was set on fire. Flopping from the bed to rise in the air several times, his body convulsed uncontrollably. His arms gripped his ribs tightly trying to hold himself together. "The PAIN…It's eating me ALIVE! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHH!' The torment cannibalized his nerve endings, sending shards of stabbing pain to rub his frame raw.

"Dean, listen to me! Don't let some second rate demon bitch have the satisfaction. You have to fight this…keep on… come on, son. I know you are in there…HEAR ME! You hear me…I'm you FATHER! Fight IT, BOY. Lean into the pain, accept it, and let it pass."

"JOHN! Stop ordering him. Do you think he has control over this! He doesn't need some Jedi mantra to accept the pain! He needs his father."

"Screw you!" John hissed. "He needs to get out of here!"

"DADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!" Dean's wail gave little time for arguments. The gurgle in his throat stopped his screaming for a moment as a rasp of air shoved inside him. His arms grabbed around his tender ribs. The young hunter received another taste of what hell must be like: Pain, pain, and more excruciating pain. His body startled from toe to top- one jolt after the other, like an electrical shock applied through a knife cutting into the flesh, over and over again. A misery so stabbing it could be compared to sadist with an electric carver, slashing away, twisting and turning, grinning with delight as his victim squirmed.

Dean gripped his ribs tighter. His head wobbled unbalanced and is stomach grumbled and churned. It was as if every part of his body began to betray him. "Unnnnnnhhhh," He groaned. The burning cramps inside of him pulled his voice to rage in violent agonizing screams. "ARRRHHHHG…. GEWWW…. ARRRRRRRRRRHHHHHH… GRRRRRRRRR… DA…. DADDS …..SAMMMY…HELP ME…. ARRRRHG …UNNHH! Dean shot up in bed gasping for breath, his wide eyes scanning something unseen and unknown to the hunters beside him.

Caught by the two men, Dean's head flopped in between Bobby's and John's shoulders like a strange marionette- disjointed, tangled strings being pulled by some novice puppetmaster. The disjointed pained movements rocked his shell to ghastly portions until the shivering hunter was like a pale effigy of his normal self. The only normalcy was the thoughts that rolled consistently on his lips. Whispered half words mixed with shrieks and moans of torment. No matter what world Dean was lost in, two words always remained: Dad and Sam.

"Dean! Dean, I'm here!" he called several times, but his son was beyond hearing. Then he remarked quietly to himself, "I have lost too much already. I can't lose you too."

"Hang on kid. Just a bit more. We'll get you out of here soon." Bobby prompted as the feeling of being an interloper grew stronger than ever. However, his words were more for John's sake than Dean's.

"Dad……..hhhhhhhhmmmmmmm….arrrggggg…..Sammmy…."

John grasped his son's shoulder and guided him back with effort, attempting to not make the pain worse. "Easy… I'm here…Sammy's…..Sam is….….." John gulped. "It's okay!" His son's muscles, thick and rigid like concrete, felt as if they would crack under any pressure. A full fledge groan spilled out as he son leaned back. It was then John noticed that every muscle was flexed and alert with pain as if electricity set his son to spark in torment.

"DADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!! ARRRRRRRRJJJJRJRHHHHHHHHGGGG!" Dean curled his legs up to him, tears rolling down his haunted cheeks, and sobs racking his weak body. His eyes darted ferociously from the fever. Words pitched randomly from his mouth-full of pain and sadness. Lolling his head to the side, always searching,but his eyes showed no signs of recognition. "Sa…" he whispered. ARHHHHHHHH!!!!! His voice shook with a defeating, strangling force, which was stolen quickly by a fit of coughs.

John could take his eyes off of the terrifying form before him. His eldest son seemed to be dying before his eyes. He could barely form the words that slurred from his mouth. "Try not to speak, buddy." John heard Dean whisper back. He couldn't bear to hear the pleas and begging for an end to pain. Moreover, he couldn't bear knowing there was nothing he could do about it. "Bobby, he's leaving me!"

"No, he's not. We just have to help him…You can do this John. If you can face all that evil, you can find a way to keep him away from the brink. We just have to help him. Bobby had pulled out his handkerchief and was dousing it with some remaining holy water. He brought the cool cloth to Dean's brow. The sensation jolted Dean, but the comfort it brought was obvious.

"I…I…uh…" his inhalations started to come in quick pants. "Ungghhh hhhhhhh…." He shuttered and mumbled without any realization of what was going on. Dean shivered violently, which made the cooling of his body even more difficult. Pulse racing, blood pressure speeding, and a fever burning- all of them adding to the heat his body was producing. "S-Sam" Dean muttered, reaching out to open air. His voice was raspy and underlined with a pained groan. "Daddy help me…"

"I need you to try to relax." Bobby sputtered and coaxed.

Dean covered his abs with his right hand while his left dug into the crumpled sheets beneath him. Jagged, hard worked fingertips and fingernails dug into the tender flesh. Small rips and scratches opened raw, spilling scarlet as he dug the pained flesh off his abdomen. Bobby pulled the hand away, restraining any further source of injury. John followed suite with the left one. Still, Dean writhed uncontrollably from the pain, bucking as his arms held in place. The disturbing view of his feet contorting and digging into the bed mirrored throughout all of his appendages, muscles, and face. His frantic legs rapidly slid and kicked around on the cot. Second later, he tried to curl into a ball.

His face tensed in pain, a scream tearing from his lips. Green eyes asked or relief, hoping for the end of pain and rest. It looked as if he craved the finality of death. "ARRGHHHHH!" The screams became sobs and what few tears Dean could muster streaked. Beneath the heat, the sufferer's skin faded into pallor, and his eyes shone with exhaustion.

John looked on as his son lay in front of him, shaking in pain. Both men could tell Dean was in an unimaginable amount of torment, and it wouldn't be long before the fever took any hopes of saving Dean away. "I won't let you die… not like this…"

"We won't!" Bobby echoed. The scalding temperature burned the coolness from the cloth quickly, leaving the damp cloth tepid and useless.

"He's burning up. We got to get that fever down… We need more water. We're freaking surrounded by a storm and water and we can't get him what he needs!"

Both men looked disappointed, knowing the small amount of holy water in the flask would never be enough to cool the fire that held Dean.

"He needs me…Bobby, his chest is barely rising. He is struggling so hard…. " John sat back next to his son. "I'm so foolish…I can bring my son back with words and I can't let him suffer. He needs action and I'm going to spare him more pain." John released his son's hand and pulled his hand gun from his back.


	15. Leave

**Author's note: This chapter was written really quickly. If you see more typos than normal please forgive me. I am trying to bake pies for Thanksgiving tonight, too. That being said I wanted to hurt Dean.. (ahem)...I mean I wanted to update cause hurting poor Dean is very wrong... ohhhh.. so wrong! (thoughts drift)...Oh, if you happen to agree with that, send me a review. It keeps me going! -Glitz**

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Thundering feet pumped in rage towards the small front windows that flanked the doorway. He pulled his flannel over his fist and let the slivers crash down as his hand punched through the glass. Several shards ripped into his hand and knuckles, but he didn't seem to care or feel anything. John wasted no time discharging the 45-caliber semiautomatic pistol he wielded. The loud pops and smell of gunpowder filled the cabin, while the bullets flew at random through opening of the broken window.

Seemingly, John, extremely and uncontrollably angry, grew to the point of violence in a fit of rage. "YOU BASTARDS!!!!!!!!! GIVE ME BACK MY SON!!!!!!!" He screamed. "I WILL WATCH YOU ALL DIE!"

"John!" Bobby screamed, thinking the sheer desperate act of releasing his rage made itself tangible in this gun play. Bobby rushed toward him at a dead run, desperate, wanting to help him. The closer he got to his friend, the stronger his fear became that John had lost it. To Bobby, the scene was far from humorous. John wasting ammo meant he was in dire need. John was a soldier, always had been, but that training seemed to be melting away as Dean suffered. He was no longer a hunter, but a feral animal attacking and protecting his young. However, John had a much larger pack of wolves to conquer outside and rage would not stop them. The odds were already bad enough; John's uncontrolled anger would do little to help them out of this mess.

Outside the sounds of laughter and jibs could distantly be heard. The actions of a desperate man were nothing more than fodder for demonic enjoyment.

Bobby' fear stopped cold when John glanced back at his friend.

The rage that seemed to fill him only sparked in his eyes, but his voice whispered to Bobby. "He needs water…..In the back… just outside the door… I saw an old barrel…just collecting water." The solider and hunter he knew shined through. John was angry, but he would never jeopardize his son by wasting ammo. "YOU SON OF BITCHES!" He screamed out the window and fired twice. "I know it's a risk, but..."

"You don't even have to ask…"

"If they want me to break, I will give them a break. Just be careful."

Bobby jumped to action, only stopping to acknowledge the anxious eyes of Dean. "Hang on buddy. Your Pop needs you."

Bobby snaked his way to the back, quickly and quietly after grabbing anything that could hold liquids- two canteens and a flask. He stuffed them into a duffel and didn't look back at the two men he left behind. Carefully, he transgressed the back room, the floor shaky at best. He leaned against the back door, scrutinizing the outside for any signs of movement, shadows, or dangers. The back part of the cabin and the forest beyond were eerily quiet or at least Bobby imagined them to be so. Skilled hunter or not, the human body still responded in chills when it realized unnatural things crawled. The small hairs stood up on Bobby's neck, telling him to remain alert.

Just beyond, he could still hear the faint taunts of demons at the front, but those sounds drowned in Dean's groans, John's yells and the distraction of gunfire. While Bobby realized they had plenty of ammo, he wished John could have just told him his plan. Somehow, he wasn't sure if John had one when he started firing. Deep inside he knew John was holding on to his anger and whether his friend admitted it or not, the curses and condemnation John spew were his real feelings. "Dean, you hang on. You're all you Daddy's got."

Thoughts of Dean spurred him on and he cracked the door carefully. His gun cocked, ready. He may not kill the demons, but he would be sure to slow them down. He slithered out the crack, catlike and stealthy. For an older man, he was still agile if he had to be. Carefully, he placed a finger in the water, testing it. His tasted the flavor to ensure it was safe to drink. Finding not obvious signs of danger, he grasped a canteen and shoved it under with one hand. As the water chugged inside, Bobby became a sentinel protecting the back entrance of their sanctuary. As the last air bubble glugged to the surface he snapped the lip and shoved it back in his satchel. He followed the same pattern, filling the next canteen. With each bubble he felt as if a minor victory had been won. As the second canteen filled and was stored with the previous, Bobby surveyed the surrounding woods again. His gun arched, ready for a steady aim, while the last container, the flask sank in his other hand. The small silver flask flashed in the moonlight as the life giving liquid poured inside. The flask gurgled, still half full, when the hair on Bobby's neck stood alert again.

A quick inspection of the distance detected a glimmer of movement to the right. He knew it was time to go. Quickly he sprinted back in the door, slamming it shut. He didn't know if he had been seen or the movement was nothing more than a harmless wandering animal. All he knew was this was not a time to take chances. He shoved the flask with the canteens, freeing his hands to check and lay any salt lines as necessary. Thankfully, they were intact. He ran back to his friends with a small measure of comfort for Dean.

When he entered the room, Bobby couldn't help but notice John was far from okay.

John fired from his position. With his attention riveted on the windows, the hunter stalked the shadows that paced back and forth. The bullets fired at random targets in the darkness. He kept shooting and screaming out several times. He just turned and shot at random, spraying the surroundings with another fusillade of bullets. "ALL OF YOU WILL DIE!!!! Then, finally, John got quiet. He just went on shooting, saying nothing. The bullets flew until his fingers fired nothing but random empty clicks. The ammo long gone, however, his mind still squeezed the trigger.

"John." Bobby spouted quietly.

A wail of emotional pain sprang from the hunter followed roar, growing louder and louder, like shock waves rippling through the room. Suddenly, his legs doubled back underneath him, sending him to the floor. "Oh God!" He screamed before he became speechless. Finally his head reeled from anguish and disbelief as tears ran down his face.

Bobby struggled. "John….are you finished?" He didn't bother asking if John was okay. Hell, none of them were "okay" to begin with, much less right now.

The gain of the quiet stillness, when John's voice and the gunfire stopped, let the horrific sounds of Dean's pain sound loudly. Now only the young man's anguish and the rain pouring against the cabin and the window filled the cabin, even overpowering the outside revelry and jovial gloating from their opposition.

Bobby cringed hearing the party like atmosphere outside. He waited to see how the sounds might affect his friend. John rose silently and kneeled beside Dean's bed. Finally, he spoke, distant and measured with a strange sense of longing. "I won't watch you die. You hear me son, I will never stand by and watch you die." He looked into his son's pleading eyes. "I am not letting you go that easy."

-x-xx-x-xx-x-x-xx-x-x-x-x

John quickly wet a make-shift plaid cloth, wiping and cooling his son's fevered brow. Likewise, Bobby applied cold compresses on Dean's arms and torso. The two hunters fashioned the plaid strips from John's flannel shirt, sacrificed with a thought. The soaked flannel often flung off as Dean moved and fought anything against him. Regardless, the coldness of the rain water helped to temper the fire upon Dean's body. Each touch sent him to toss and moan. The slightest movement delivered crushing blows to the now sensitive flesh. Still, the two men couldn't stop.

Finally, John opened the flask and guided the metallic opening to Dean's mouth. His other hand guided the aching head forward as his child fought the movement. Once in position, a small trickle of water dripped in his son's mouth. Half the liquid rolled down the chin and the rest simply lingered in his mouth. The sensation caused a twitch, but John head firm and massaged the throat to entice the swallow reflect. Harshly the water would go down in unsteady gulps, causing several coughs and groans of protest. After a few gulps, the fight would increase and Dean would expend whatever energy he had to turn way. Carefully, John would guide his child to the precious commodity of water time and time again. Watching ever mindful of the cues Dean's system provided him, John provided momentary breaks for his son to recharge. "It's okay, take a minute….okay…can you drink a bit more for me… Come on." He spoke in a hushed tone as he shifted on to the bed next to his son. He repeated the liquid feed to Dean just as he had moments before.

In kind, Bobby was faced with a similar struggle. If Dean's movements didn't fling the clothes away, the heat from Dean's body stole the coolness. As quickly as Bobby applied the cloths, the first clothes had already warmed to Dean's scorching temperature. He just continued the same cyclical placement of cool water on the ripped rags, hoping the effort would make a small difference. He knew from experience that this high of a fever could cause severe damage. It had to be at least 103 degrees if not more. He felt little need to offer this information, knowing John was painfully aware of his son's dire circumstances.

Another round of drinking and fighting over, John stroked Dean's forehead gently. Watching the slightest pressure leave a mark upon his Dean's skin, the outline of John's white hand print faded so slowly. The shadow of the gentle pressure lingered as if the touch was painted there. John gulped, jolted, and looked to his friend.

Bobby didn't need John to say it. He had already surmised the same conclusion; more complications- possible edema or worse, hypoxia. If either were true, Dean was in serious trouble-more than they first realized. And if tonight led to the lost of Dean, Bobby was sure John would not have the strength to go on. "He'll make it. You know your boys are just as stubborn as you."

"Yeah...I just want to...I should tell him…" He struggled. "…I should tell him how proud I am of him...of the man he's become...Far better than me."

"I'll agree with you there!" Bobby jibbed.

John laughed and nodded. "Thanks, Bobby... for.."

"Hell, you know I can't resist a good fight. Wouldn't have it any other way."

John nodded and the small tension break seemed to reinforce his ability to fight and keep strong for his son. He attempted to administer more fluids, and pulled his son forward a bit to get leverage for the next round of watching Dean squirm and refuse to cooperate. He didn't get angry from the combative behavior; it guided him to know Dean was holding on.

As he poured a small trickle in, Dean twitched, and then began screaming and violently thrashing around on the bed in an almost convulsive quake. He sat upright, gaining the attention of both Bobby and John. Both grabbed him, finding the sensation only increased the pain… "ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!" Dean's face was paler than a few minutes before. The hallows of his eyes were vacant and the pupils fluttered and rolled back in his skull. His body still rigid and flexed started a downward decent back to the bed.

John's hunter reflexes responded and he gently but firmly grasped Dean around the waist and guided him back to the mattress and hunkered beside.

As his eyes fluttered and floundered in a senseless world, Dean's body clawed out for an anchor. He fisted the material of John's t-shirt in his hand, as if the material were a tether to the real world, one keeping him from the land of the dead.

"I'm here... I'm here. Just hold on... I'm here."

"Dad...don't...don't go...pl...Please." He cried out.

John shifted and the hand pulled the t-shirt even more frantically. "I will never leave you. I always will be... I swear…I'll never leave you alone."


	16. Good Enough

x-xx-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x—x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

When Dean's eyes settled, cloudy and seeking, John stroked his son's arm. "I'll never leave you!" Quiet sobs oozed from Dean, soaking into the souls of two of the most skilled hunters ever known. Still, both battle hardened mean gulped when they heard the sound. Dean's pain grew louder as John moved closer. Bobby fell to his knees at the side of the bed, like he was going to heap on the floor, but slumped on the bed behind Dean. Dean's neck flung backwards at an unnatural angle.

A rattled father pulled his son's neck to rest at a more natural position upon an arm. He stared at Dean for a long moment as if he was thinking of some plan. John, sensing he was being watched, glanced up to meet Bobby's eyes. There was a look of understanding mixed with the grief. "He just gets worse and worse," John mouthed, numbly.

With a sigh of deepest regret and apprehension, Bobby nodded, now sitting on the other side of the bed. For a long moment he watched, hovering and lingering above the faces of his friends. Finally, he reached a hand out to rest on Dean's back. "Easy boy…just a bit more and Caleb and Jim will be here. I know you have it in you." He started pitifully, as if he was forced to look down upon the scene as a painful reminder of how fleeting life and time can be.

A crackle of thunder grumbled over the cabin sending Dean to alarm. "Easy… it's just thunder…. Just a storm..." John crawled further in the bed and curled up next to his son, putting an arm around Dean's shoulder and pulled him closer. "Hmm…you're not scared of thunder now… not like when you were little… Do you remember…hmmm…" Gasping, Dean fell into John. He grabbed his son's hand tightly, trying to pull it free from the fabric. The more he tried the more Dean pleaded and clung to it desperately. When he heard a single gasping sob, he stopped trying. Instead, he took his son's chin in his hand, wiping away a tear.

"UMMMMM…..noooo….."

"Easy….I'm right here."

Dean's violent shiver coursed through his weakened body, while John's strong arm wrapped around his shoulder. His son's voice muffled out a moaning plea- a sound which stopped John in his tracks, ceasing his ability to speak for a moment. Dean only slumped in further upon himself, trying to bury his face in his own chest.

The seasoned hunters winched and gasped. They both seemed to be holding on baited breath for Dean's next reaction, clearly expecting worse and worse. Bobby wanted to say something just to break the strangled silence, but John's words came without forethought now.

"This is not possible. I just can't believe my son is lying here. Somehow, it just can't be real. This is the same son, who had such spark in his eyes so little a time ago. But, he's here, laying in some cheap cabin bed….so….So vulnerable to every harm possible.

"It's what the Demons wanted for you."

"Exactly, for me….not him….if they only knew…."

"Knew what John?"

"Nothing….nothing…." John mouthed distracted. "I just can't lose him…He can't die…" John opened his eyes, not even noticing they were moist with tears. "And it's my fault. I brought so much pain to his life. I taught him how to hunt…taut him to bury his suffering….but… But, he still kept the pure love in his heart and I don't know how he could…and that small light in him that refused to go gave me a reason to keep fighting….What if I can't do that for him?…"

"John, he knows..."

"It's not enough. Just once I want to be a good father….a REAL FATHER for him…for…. him and for Sam. I've screwed up and I don't know what to do… I owe him better than me." A tear rolled down John's cheek and fell on Dean's arm as he kissed his son on the forehead with the same tenderness in his heart as if was welcoming his first born to the world.

"John, are you alright? You're starting to scare me." Bobby requested, snapping John out of his thoughts.

"Nowhere close. There something missing. Dean has been cheated all his life… out of everything he deserved. All the times I didn't tuck him into bed... All the birthday cakes I should have bought him….All the times I should have took him fishing…Or… or played ball. He never got those things…I don't even know what his favorite color…food…"

"John." The sympathy of a father's regret struck inside Bobby. "You know how I feel. You know my story. I…..be glad you have him…don't beat yourself up with what ifs."

"How could I not know everything about my sons?! Sam was right. I am selfish. I never stopped to think about what either of them wanted. No wonder he ended up hating me. God… please …I just want to give them something more than half a gene pool." The emotions broke and John sobbed openly.

Bobby stopped. Deep within him, a pressure squeezed his chest and froze his mind, stealing any comforting words.

Suddenly, through the pain, the fever, and the anxiety, Dean was trying to shake off the the haze. The sheer determination of his will gave Bobby and John another cause to pause. However, those hopes were dashed as Dean let trickles of tears spill on his cheeks. The droplets, although few and strained, came without reservation. He was too tired, too ill, and too pained to even fathom hiding behind a wall.

Shifting his son's head, John looked deeply in the tortured, bloodshot, tear-wetted pools of Dean's eyes. When the sorrow haunted irises leaked a few more struggling tears, the image made goose bumps rise on John's skin.

Dean's face slumped against his father's bicep. His brows furrowed deeply with relentless emotion and a string of thick spittle hung from his open mouth. Somewhere, deep within his chest, a low keening emitted.

John wiped Dean's swollen and bloodshot eyes, and then wiped away the strings of spittle. "I won't stand for you to die like this."

"John…" Bobby tried to rationalize, but his friend didn't care to listen. Bobby hands traced the contorted frail spine and muscles of Dean's back.

Darkly hued eyelids fluttered and twitched. Slowly, Dean's eyes opened to stare into John's. There was something blank and hazy about the way Dean looked, but in those red eyes there was pain, fear, love and confusion. Finally, his lips parted and a strangled sound emerged like the sound of a boot pulling from the sloshing, sucking mud. Still the words rang so loud, even though they were more than a gurgled whisper. "Daddy….I….I love you….I…" His voice, rickety as the cabin that kept them safe, stuttered and struggled.

"No, don't you say goodbye to me…don't you do it... " John screamed. His voice cracked and broke in on itself. "Dean…I love you so much son… don't you dare leave me… I can't lose you boys… I…."

A happy smile lit on Dean's face before he groaned and shook. His breath was staggered and weak. "Tell Sam…"

"You'll tell Sam..."

"I wish he….one last…" His lip quivered inconsolability.

"Don't say that… don't…"

His movements were becoming slower and weaker and his body could not bear the slightest pressure. The more Dean tried to speak, the more difficult his breathing became. His limbs were swollen and pitted now, inflamed and screaming. His pale cheek tried to nestle into John.

A fatherly hand fingered the side of Dean's face, "You're going to feel better soon. I promise don't give up…. Please…..please... Dean, Dean, you need to stay with me…"

The hand which gripped his T-shirt with such fervor loosened and reached for the hand that stroked at his cheek. Dean pulled his father's hand to his chest and wrapped both arms around it, holding like a protective talisman. "Dad…please….tell Sam…"

"No… Sammy… Sam… He knows… okay…He's right here….Listen…listen…we… made it…We made it out…you did so well…fought so hard…" John nodded to Bobby, who rubbed gently down Dean's back. "Feel that? Huh? He's right here, helping you…" Bobby stroked Dean's spine, relieving him of the hurt he was suffering. Dean's quick pants fell on his father's arm. "He's here….just hold on and…"

A second slight smile curled on Dean's lip, a mixture of pain, longing, and relief. He struggled to flip his head to catch a glimpse of his brother. About half way in the effort, his body gave out and he slipped to unconsciousness. The word "Sammy" slipping from his whispering lips.

John pulled him close, as his son's eyes slid shut as the fatigue and pain overwhelmed him, and he lost his battle with consciousness. He let tears roll down his face like they never had before, as he gently touched his son's hair, then ran his hand down the side of her his face. Dean…. my... special….. Dean…" His speech dissolved into tears as he looked at the fading son before him.

-x-xx-x-xx-x

"Bobby… please I don't know if I can take anymore….Just when I think Dean can't take any more abuse…" Sam stopped. "Please tell me, he got help sooner than later…and Dad…."

Unsure of what he was feeling for his brother and father, Sam wanted reassurance they both didn't linger in more pain. Worse, he wasn't sure what to feel more than ever: Was it pain? Was it anger? Was it disappointment? What did he feel? What was he supposed to feel?

As a brother, he should be outside apologizing to Dean. Not because of some story, but because he loved Dean. As brothers went, Sam felt so lucky to have Dean- faults and all. And for the first time in a very long time, he felt lucky to have a father like John. All the things he had accused his father of were John's own fears. He understood now that in all those fight, he had struck John where it hurt the most. Regretfully, although it was the way he felt at the time, he never stopped to think about John's position. Sam wanted to tell him more than ever he did love him and he did think of his father of as hero- just as much as he does Dean.

"The thought of him suffering is so hard. How much more could Dean take…how much more could any of you take?" Sam said quietly.

"I think if it went on much longer, we….it…would have…"

"Please tell me his pain was going to end soon. I should have been there. Should have came for him. I owed him that at least. Tell me he didn't linger in misery, waiting for someone to be there for him. Just like he is always there for me…" Sam's voice was still quiet, searching for a way to relieve the pain of his brother years ago. "Tell me he didn't wait for someone to save him. That somehow all those people he saved…somehow… that counted for him being spared something."

"I think it does and I think it will." Bobby soothed the words to Sam, then spoke more pointedly and louder, ensuring the man outside would hear these words loud and clear too. "Dean may not see his worth, but we do." He returned his tone to normal and the place he felt most comfortable. "But, I know how you feel. That boy….that night…pretty much ran all things thin. But, Caleb and Jim were damn close…AND when they bring a can of whoop ass, they bring it."

"Caleb…yeah... I remember he always a flair for the understated."

"If at first you don't succeed throw something stronger with more firepower at it."

"Sad part is… that statement is so true for so many things… its actually scary."

Bobby chuckled. "Yeah... and that night... It was just the kind of thing we needed."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x—x-x-x-


	17. Boom Boom

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x—x-x-x-

"You know….I always like the Wildman side of Caleb." A familiar voice noted, coughing lightly to break the rudeness of interrupting.

"Dean!" Sam said excitedly as a gush of everything he felt over the last hour took him by surprise.

"Hey, Sammy." Dean said calmly. There was an apparent warmth in the words, but moreover, the words were charged with a sheepish attempt to say sorry. His head fell and he glanced away as if he may not deserved Sam's forgiveness.

Sam knew the tone well and quickly countered with his own. "Hey, Dean, you want a beer." Before Dean could answer, Sam got up to get a round beer for the three of them.

Dean smiled, in a failed attempt at trying to hide his relief. Instantly, he understood Sam was okay and sorry too.

Thankful the tension was gone- at least the tension between the brothers- Bobby chuckled. He was relieved that Dean had finally broken away part of his Winchester pride. He knew he would have Sam hooked into thinking in quick order, but Dean was the tougher nut. Bobby was running out of ways to describe Dean's in pain. He was grateful he had finally gotten through to him too. "It's about time you stopped brooding out there. Thought for a minute you eloped with your car."

"Thought about it! Better company than the two of you. I was enjoying the quiet until you started over exaggerating what happened that night… I mean come on Bobby if you dragged that out any longer I was going to barf."

"Oh and you know so much… You were out of your gourd for most of that night."

"Yeah, but… come on man… I mean..."

"You telling me that you weren't in pain?"

"Yeah…but."

A realization dawned on Sam that Dean had been listening in for a while, yet somehow he didn't mind. Hearing the normal tone of his brother playfully arguing with Bobby, Sam's entire body loosened in an almost liberation.

"Yeah… what do you know! Hey, I was alert and I remember it. Every word is true… You… you on the other hand, were of in la la land, dreaming of your car."

Dean disagreed just to disagree, laughing and snickering. "Phbttt… Bulls…"

"And you scared the hell out of me that night." Bobby spouted softer and poignantly. The tone stopped Dean's banter cold. "You just started getting worse and worse… I thought the yelling out in pain was scary enough, but when you got quiet…."

"Bobby?" Dean softened and looked quizzically at his friend.

"You have been a pain in my ass since the day I met you… You know that. I nearly froze that day chasing your thieving ass in the snow. You're lucky I liked kids back then. You had that stupid wall back then. So now, you're going to lie about being in that pain and agony to protect some stupid wall of yours."

"No…uh… no…" Dean shifted prickly. "When it started, I wish I could have ripped my skin off… That shit hurt like a mother." Then he shifted again, more unnerved at the memory. "It was like having battery acid poured over me. I didn't think it was possible for anyone to endure that level of pain without turning into a vegetable". The worried look on Sam's face almost broke Dean's voice to waiver. "Ahemm…" He tried to act like he didn't notice his admission of pain had affected his brother and his friend. He shifted gears of the conversation uncomfortably. "Besides, You have hashed and rehashed and RE-rehashed the pain for long enough. And the rescue…was way…way cooler."

Sam shook his head and slowly walked back from the kitchen, balancing two beer bottle necks in his one hand and his new one in the other. Dean and Bobby both grabbed for one before Sam had a chance to offer or sit back down. "Sheesh… The word cooler and Caleb… That just scares me."

"Dad said it was like a hunters fourth of July."

"Just how much of this did John tell you?" Bobby wondered, realizing why Dean was having a problem believing Bobby's version. John had only told him enough, but yet again kept Dean in the dark. John probably glossed over his son's and his own pain.

"Only that Caleb and Jim crashed that party in the biggest…"

"Alright… alright… don't spoil it for Sam…Well, John and I just sat there watching your lunkhead brother. Guess we should have known the kind of plan Caleb would come up with would be unconventional to say the least."

Sam scoffed. "That's putting it mildly."

"He was never at a lost for fire power or grand entrances. I think he watched too much Charles Bronson movies myself. But he saved our bacons…."

-xx-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-xx—x-x-x-x-x-x-x—x-x-x--x

John held his son, watching the quiet, struggling breaths fall from his chest. Bobby glanced at his friend. "He's going to be okay. That kid…he….He always been taking care of himself since they moment we all met.

"Taking care of everything… he always took care of everything…" John's intended message was lost when a strange noise, grinded in the distance. At first the sound was muffled, reminding one of a dentist drill.

Both alert hunters puzzled as to what the demons might be up to now. However watchful and on guard, John lowered Dean soothingly, ensuring his son was safe and comfortable. He glanced down and winced when a small pleading groan burbled on his son's lips. He nodded in a promise that he would end Dean's suffering. "I'll find a way Dean. I Will!"

His attention was diverted from his assurances when the strange noise grew louder. The drill sound was not the spinning of a tip, but the sound of metallic scrapping almost like an overly amplified keys-on-metal sound mixed with grumble of an engine.

"What the hell are those demon's up to?" Bobby peered outside the broken window, noticing the stillness and vigilance of their captors. "They aren't doing that!" Like John and Bobby, the demons were searching for the source of the distance sound, when a louder scrapping occurred followed by a flash of lights.

Suddenly, an explosion and a boom shook the foundations of the cabin, knocking John and Bobby to the ground. Outside, their captor blockade suffered the same fate, demons reeling and floundering from the impact. By that time, it was obvious. Someone was waging an attack- a seriously deadly firestorm attack.

"Caleb!" Bobby and John exclaimed in unison. A sense of exhilaration and relief seemed to rebound the two from the floor as agile as they had been in their youth. A sense of satisfaction swelled inside Bobby that the demons were about to be on the receiving end of four experienced hunters. The only thing better would have been to see Dean make the odds increase to five, but he had hope for the first time since this all began. Once glance at his John and he knew John was feeling the same.

The father's eyes did not meet Bobby gaze. Instead, he looked at his son and he flashed an odd smile, announcing silently to his son the pain was going to be over. The brief unspoken promise lasted less than a flash of light before John returned to the tasks at hand. Under cover of the cabin walls, they aimed and fired at targets.

John wasted no time discharging the 45-caliber semiautomatic pistol he wielded. Bobby, content to hand out punishment too, fired a barrage of bullets from the 44 magnum. Triggers squeezed and snapped repeatedly, sending loud booms to demonic possessed flesh. The burning smell and taste of gunpowder almost suffocated clean air in the cabin. Bobby coughed, yet his finger never stopped until his ammo was spent and he had to reload, knowing they only had to wait a few more minutes. The scent slammed at them both, suddenly mixing a stent of burning rubber, diesel, and burning oil. Some dark fumes clung to the air, burning their throat and watering their eyes. With the blinding flashes of explosions and the vibrations that often sent hunters and demons to the ground, it was a sensory overload. In truth, they didn't know where to look.

Neither had to wait long for an answer as Caleb and Father Jim appeared upon the access road, in what could only be a "Classic Caleb" plan. In different circumstances, John and Bobby would have almost chuckled, spying the pair. Jim, in his priestly collar, perched inside a bulldozer, pushing and making short work of the blockades. His efforts left the vehicles crushed and useless, sending a few to careen down the side of the mountain. Piles of twisted metal scattered asunder. If that wasn't enough, Caleb followed a small fire truck. The hunter drove along with a juvenile glee. The thrill only heightened by the fact he was lobbing grenades out the window. Scatters of venomous screaming voices became background fill over the sounds of a large grinding engines and echoing blasts.

"One day, we need to tell Caleb the A Team is not a way of life." Bobby jested.

"If we could only figure out which role he is playing." John countered.

The heavy machinery stopped in front of the cabin door, providing cover for escape. Jim jumped from his perch, sprinting for the door. John and Bobby opened the entrance, laying down unneeded cover fire.

Caleb crawled out of the fire truck door window, swinging in a Dukes of Hazzard move to the top of the vehicle. In a flash he had pulled a fire house free and blasted the demons with massive dose of holy water.

Jim smiled, relieved to find his cohorts in one piece. Relieved, that was, until he saw Dean. The young man's color made his condition apparent, even when viewed from as far as the open door. Bobby and John were about to join the fray, when Jim stopped them mid jaunt. "John…it's fine... you….You and Bobby get Dean outta here. Caleb and I will take care of this and join you when we can."

"Jim, there's a girl out there possessed by a demon… She gave him something…if you…" John pleaded.

"We'll find out all we can." Jim reassured him.

The reassurance didn't seem to help John, but he accepted it. First and foremost, he wanted Dean safe. He wasn't running from the fight. His duty, like in war, was to the fallen and injured. This time it was someone far more precious to him. He wasted no time returning to Dean and shifting his son inside his arms. "Hold on kiddo… just hold on kiddo."

Dean rolled to his father easily as if he sought out his father's presence. John scooped him in a childlike cradle, letting his son's flop like a wet rag doll in his arms. The three men shared a glance at the worn out young man, before they made a run out the door.

Jim rejoined Caleb, laying down gunfire and tossing grenades into the demons still standing.

John and Bobby raced for the Impala. John eased himself in backwards, almost falling into the backseat. He shifted his frame, scooting in, dragging his son with him. Their efforts moved quickly, yet painstaking, to comfort and protect Dean from suffering. Dean wobbled in John's arms as Booby slammed the door.

"Hurry Bobby! Just hurry!"

Bobby was already in the car and closing the door when John barked the order. Within a few more seconds, the car was started and peeled out on the dirt road, faster and rougher than Dean would have been comfortable with. "John, he won't make the drive to the healer. We got to get him stable before we move him."

"I know…I know….just…we got to get him to the hospital. Drive as fast as you can."-xx-x-x-x-xx-x—x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

What seemed like countless hours ticked away so slowly, John and Bobby both were fit to climb walls and rattle doors to get an update on Dean. When they arrived, he had been taken away immediately, while doctors, medics, and nurses spouted enough medical jargon to make anyone's head feel woozy.

As they took his son beyond the door, he stared at the closed doors for at least 30 minutes before Bobby got him to sit down. Now, he was just as antsy as John. He watched his friend bend over to his knees, pushing out a frustrated breath. The man had been quiet for the last 3 hours; expect for a few inpatient heavy breaths.

Finally, the doctor pushed the doors open, seeking out the men.

"DOC….My Son…. How..."John gave him no time to speak. Instead he began talking before his bottom left the waiting room chair. Bobby jumped up a second behind him.

"We have him stable for the moment. He was in rough shape when you brought him in. **Our first concern was that he was suffering from pulmonary edema and possible hyxpoia…"**

John stopped breathing, thinking the doctor confirmed his worse suspicions. The two hunters stood agape of the death sentence this would mean for Dean. Even if he lived with damage to his heart or lungs, his life would be cut short and his hunting days were over. "NO… no... Dean is going to be okay….HE HAS TO!" John ordered like the sound of his voice was a sacred commandment.

"Please calm down. I understand it's been a long night, but I need you to listen. We have since ruled that out. His heart and lungs were stressed, but luckily he avoided permanent damage. If you didn't get passed that fallen tree and get him here, I think the story would have been far different. For the moment, we are treating the symptoms as they appear. Frankly, we are at a lost to explain them. After we stabilized him, we ran a series of tests with little success. No toxins we can screen for showed up."

"So you know what's wrong with him?" Bobby added.

"You can't help him can you?" John's voice was soft and distant.

"I'm not sure. For the moment, he is breathing on his own and we have given him something to ease the pain. I am afraid to go to serious pain killers. But we will make him comfortable as we can and run more tests. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry... just help that boy." Bobby demanded. John gulped and shuddered.

The doctor nodded apologetically and was about to turn when he saw three ragtag looking persons swagger through the door. "Dear God, this night keeps getting worse." The doctor and several personnel ran to the aid of the three.

Bobby and John managed to smile as Caleb and Jim shooed them away, but it took a moment for John to recognize the woman with his friends. The demon possessed woman, injured and a bit worse for the wear, pushed a few back too.

"We are fine."

"Get off me… you leeches." Caleb grumbled.

"Sir, we need you to remain calm?" A random nurse chastised him.

"Yeah…. I need you to shut the Hell up. We came here for our Boy. Had a bit of an accident. Once we settle up, then you can tell me what to do!"

"Caleb, please… " Jim reminded, but snickered nonetheless.

"Is there someone else more injured that you?" The doctor questioned.

"If you back off for a minute, we would tell ya. You have her boyfriend here and she thinks she can help you treat him."

"What? Sir…. I will have to ask..." The doctor huffed.

A small voice spoke chokingly. "Irukandji."

"Irkandji…" The doctor said knowingly as if a puzzle had suddenly fell into place. The small frustrated huff or before already gone.

"What is that?" Bobby asked, hoping the answer would be that Dean would be okay.

"So you can cure him…"

"No…we can only make him comfortable. Irk…"

"No…you can't tell me my SON IS GOING TO DIE!"

"Just hold on…" He told the eager men before he turned back to the girl. "Are you sure?"

"She said it DIDN'T she!" Caleb demanded, while the girl nodded.

"What does this mean for my son?"

"It's a toxin from several different types of jellyfish…Does your son study marine biology at the colleges on the coast?"

"No… his girlfriend here does at her university….why?" Bobby added, adding to Jim and Caleb's ruse.

"Then he probably got too close and didn't even realize he had been stung. The symptoms would take several hours."

"He saw her before we left on our trip. We were just at our cabin when the rain came and he started getting sick.

"Dean called and said he was not feeling well and when I went to pick up my daughter, Lucy here.. She was worried about him…said he was messin' around with the specimens….She got worried and tried to call.

"And we got trapped in the cabin when the tree uprooted. We were trapped without cell phone reception... We thought he was dying on us.

"I don't doubt that you witnessed a man in extreme pain." The doctor muttered

"What can you give him to cure him?" Bobby said in relief.

"Nothing, there is no known cure."

"He's dying isn't he?" John grew more melancholy and aloof.

"Not tonight. The syndrome is harmful because of the symptoms it creates, followed by the damage of those symptoms. A few people have died, but they have been older or had pre-existing conditions that the syndrome aggravated. Your son, while in a great amount of pain and distress, is in prime health. The syndrome causes an array of systemic symptoms including severe headache, muscle pains, chest and abdominal pain, nausea and vomiting, anxiety, and hypertension. We can treat him easier now. But, you have to understand this could go on for 4 to 30 hours and maybe a week to resolve completely.

"But.. He's going to be okay?" John muttered

"I think so. We can't guarantee anything. We will give Dean meds to maintain his respiration, pains, and fever. I'll start him on morphine at a low dose and we can adjust as we get a level on his tolerance. We'll set up on a PCA pump to get a steady supply of painkillers. If he has spike in the pain he can hit the machine to get a boost. I'll have the nurse show you how."

"Thanks Doc." John spilled apologetically.

"Now, I think we need to have a look at you three."

-x-x—x-xx-x-x

So, your Dad and I stayed waiting for Dean to rest up and get back to his pain-in-everyone's-ass self. After Jim, Caleb, and Lucy got patched up a bit, Jim and Caleb took the poor girl home.

"Bet she is still messed up about that, but at least she made it out." Dean speculated.

Sam looked perplexed. "Wait…Bobby... that still doesn't explain what you told me before…. About you and Dad fighting and you….

Dean eagerly jumped on the bandwagon once Sam reminded him. "That's right….I saw part of that argument when I woke up….you told Dad you were going to fill him full of buckshot. You were plenty pissed off. The way you and Dad looked at each other I thought you were going to rip each other's heads off."


	18. Family

_**Author's Note: **__** And **__**the end! Hope you like this Bobby secret. I could be way off but it was fun to make all this stuff tie into the show. Hope you enjoy.**_

-x-x-x-xx—x-x-xx-x-x—x-x-xx

Bobby sighed. "Guess I opened the can of worms. I hope you boys can forgive me. I thought I knew John pretty well, but I was wrong. Until you boys showed up that day, I didn't even know he followed through with his stupidity. I have to admit I am ashamed I let a few words keep me from my friend and you boys. Wish to God I had swallowed my pride and anger and called him."

"You couldn't control Dad. He did what he wanted- when he wanted." Dean spouted.

A shock waved with Sam, hearing Dean say something that was almost critical of John. One look at his brother's face showed the sore spot he still carried over the lost of John. He wondered if he would feel the same thing when Dean was gone. He stopped, correcting himself. Dean would be here. He made himself that promise.

"I know that. It's best I just tell you the rest. After we got Dean well enough to get out of that hospital, we spent a week shacked up in the Mesa Motel. I was afraid to leave John and you alone. In fact, you spent a lot of time sleeping that week. When you got so antsy being cooped up, we sent you on a supply run. Then, things just went to hell in a hand basket with your Daddy.

-x-x-x-xx-x-x-x-x-xx-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Death!" John uttered, staring at a faded picture of Mary, who held Baby Sam and Dean. "Before this, I thought me dying was the worst thing that could happen. But Dean and Death...Such ugly words. I've never felt so powerless ever. I can't bear to lose him like Mary. Hell, I lost Mary...then Sammy! Dean was my anchor."

"He's your son, not your support system." Bobby spouted from one of the motel beds.

"Sam was right. I should never have brought them to this life. They would have been better off with a stable person as a parent." John stared blankly at the photo.

"It's not like you had a choice." Bobby reasoned, reloading his cleaned shotgun.

"I do now." He dropped the picture and began packing his stuff.

"You're not making sense."

"Sam's safe. He's got a girl, he's smart, successful. He's doing well. I use to imagine my boys having more than I did, but I have nothing to give him or Dean. But, I can make sure Dean is safe, too."

"No one is safe! These things just don't let you take a holiday or say I quit. I know better than anyone!" Bobby screamed

"But, the demon knows that I am close. They're afraid. They planned to torture me and used him to get me to stop. I am so close to the end. Then, I can get make things right with both of my boys."

"Did you even listen to Dean? Who did he ask for when he was in pain? He wanted his family!! Do you think he would blame you for this?!"

"I blame me for this. Nothing else matters. He could have easily died. They are coming. And coming faster and deadlier. I've sent him off on his own before. He can do it without me."

"You think that is what he wants? Losing Sam still tortures him and he knows how to find his brother. You take off and he'll…"

"Doesn't matter. He'll forgive me. One of the best traits he has from Mary. I can't let him die for me. He deserves more."

"Then you give him what he deserves! Don't just send him on his way like you are kickin' him out of the nest."

"I won't. I'll break him away easily. Send him on a few missions, then I'll just fade away into the shadows. I can move faster and better if I know he is okay. I can focus on this bastard demon and end it all for us."

"You think that Yellow Eyed thing is the only evil in the world. You know better. There's always going to be one more monster- one more demon- one more creature. But there will never be another Dean or Sam. Believe me I know."

"This is my choice."

Not having any plan, Bobby seized John's arm, pulling him away from his mental state. "ARE YOU FINSHED!" He screamed. John tried to sidestep him, but could not. "Please John don't… you will kill that boy. Don't destroy what is left of your family. I can help you."

"I don't want your help. Just get out of my way!" John shoved Bobby back from him. "I think you should just leave."

"Don't press me John! You know my part in this. I won't let it slip away."

"Last I check you didn't have anything."

"John, you are a selfish bastard. You know what those kids mean to me, especially after …" Bobby eyes were dangerous glints in their hard expression. He pushed the long sleeves of his flannel shirt upon his forearms and cracked his knuckles. "Son of a bitch. You don't deserve my help."

A feral half-smirk twisted his lips as he stood his ground, staring at Bobby now, face to face. "You lost your family a long time ago. So don't tell me how to run mine." John shoved his friend again.

Sorrow was ripe in Bobby's eyes. For a moment it appeared John had touched the rawest part of his soul, but he never got out another word.

"Get out!" John shoved him backwards, sending Bobby to crash on the floor, next to the bed. The shotgun that he started to clean earlier clattered from the bed to the floor.

"Dean's not your son and no matter how much you want him to be, it doesn't work. Your boy is dead and you let it happen. You can't have mine."

Bobby flew a fist, sticking the clenched paw into John's mouth. Blood flew. It streamed as John reeled back. When he recovered, John drew back his fist for battle, but Bobby already had a shotgun in his hand.

Dad?" A weak voice called in a concerned, confused tone. Dean stood in the doorway of the cheap motel, holding bags of supplies.

"You ever darken my life again John Winchester..." He cocked the shotgun. "I'll fill you full of buckshot and put your miserable ass out of this world"

"Bobby? What's going on?" Dean uttered.

"Goodbye, kiddo. Watch out for yourself."

-xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx---

"Bobby, what did Dad mean about your family?" Sam asked quietly, not sure if he should ask the question.

"Hmmph… That's a long story. But, you don't become a hunter because it sounds so exciting and cool. We all have tragedies in our past that began our journey on this path. Cost me a lot. Bobby eyes were wet, but no tears fell.

"Why didn't you tell me, he wanted to ditch me!?!???" A small flash of anger boiled in Dean's words.

"It's not Bobby's fault." Sam reasoned.

"Let him speak, Sam. He has a right to be angry. I let John get under my skin. I shouldn't have."

For a second, it seemed like Dean was going to blow the mother lode of vents, but he grew quiet and shook his head. His temper shaded his face bright red. When he opened his mouth, he simply directed a pointed comment to Sam. "Time to go." He stood and stormed out the door.

"I'm sorry. He just…"

"It's fine. But, didn't help his mood to hear all that. He always gets the short end of the deal."

"I'm sorry Dad said that about your son. It must have been hard."

"That's another long story. Go on! Catch up with your brother and hit the road. I don't think he is mad at me as his is about everything. I don't think he wants to admit that John could leave him so easily cause you leaving him ate Dean up inside. He just can't figure how anyone could do it. Damn, I hate pulling the rug from under him so roughly."

"It might be what he needs. I'll call you."

"Sure, Sam."

Sam stood and started walking away. At the door, he turned. "You know you do have family… we..."

"Actually, I do have family. They don't know it yet. But, I have 2 nephews out there. I try to keep an eye on them. One day, I'll tell them all about me and why I kept that part of me hidden.

"I think they are pretty lucky to have you as an uncle. We always were."

"See you, Sammy."

"Bye, Bobby." Sam exited.

Distantly, Bobby heard the car doors slam, the engine purr, and a loud rock tune blare. He watched from the kitchen window as the sleek black of the Impala pulled away. "Kiddos, I am the lucky one." He uttered.


End file.
